29 Students Dead in Syria: "A mortar slammed into a school in the Damascus suburbs on Tuesday."

Uh Oh: "Secret information on counter-terrorism shared by foreign governments may have been compromised by a massive data theft by a senior IT technician for the NDB, Switzerland's intelligence service, European national security sources said."

Iran Is Lying: They say they have captured a US drone. But the US says they're all accounted for. (But I learned from watching Homeland that sometimes America lies, you guys! Who's telling the truth!?)

"Republicans Balk at Short-Term Stimulus in Obama Plan": BALK, I SAY!

Well That Won't Be Happening Now: Fox News tried to get Petraeus to run for president, with Rupert Murdoch possibly bankrolling the campaign.

George Zimmerman's Bloody Nose: His lawyers say a newly released color photograph of Zimmerman with a bloody nose creates doubt in the murder case against him.

Do You Know Something About This?: Before killing himself in an Anchorage jail cell, Israel Keyes claimed he killed four people in Washington between 2001 and 2006. The FBI is hoping the public can help track his travels.

A Man Died After Being Pushed onto Subway Tracks: And there are a lot of pictures of him trying to climb back onto to the platform, but not a lot of stories of motherfuckers putting down their cameras and helping him not get fucking crushed by the Q train.

Here's Something to Scare the Shit Out of You: For months a woman thought she had a runny nose from allergies, but it was actually FLUID LEAKING FROM HER BRAIN.

More Katt Williams Trouble: The comedian was kicked out of a Seattle hotel for allegedly smoking pot. Now he's trying to buy a Washington State Ferry.

In Olympia This Morning: One dead and one injured in a stabbing at McCoy's Tavern.

I Want to Go Back to School!: "College offering puppy room for stressed out students." SQUEAL!

HOCKEY HOCKEY HOCKEY: There might be a season after all, and the announcement could come today or tomorrow.

All I want for Christmas is you, hockey: