A 7.3 Earthquake Hit Japan: There hasn't been much damage, thankfully.

Sad: Earlier this week some Australian radio DJs prank called the hospital Kate Middleton was staying at. They pretended to be the Queen, and got some information about Middleton's status. The nurse who took the call? Found dead.

Fiscal Cliff Is Such a Dumb Phrase: "With about three weeks left before the "fiscal cliff" deadline, the task of avoiding the steep tax hikes and spending cuts was down to talks between Republican House Speaker John Boehner and President Barack Obama, according to Capitol Hill aides."

Danger! Danger!: An escalator malfunctioned at Bellevue Square mall. Four people were taken to the hospital with minor injuries.

7.7 Percent: The U.S. jobless rate is the lowest it's been since December 2008.

George Zimmerman Is Suing NBC: "George Zimmerman sued NBC on Thursday, claiming he was defamed when the network edited his 911 call to police after the shooting of Trayvon Martin to make it sound like he was racist."

Want to Go to the Moon?: Give these people $750 million, and you can (in several years)!

Get Well Soon: Roger Ebert has been hospitalized with a broken hip.

Is Colbert Planning on Running for Senate?: Maybe! Maybe not. It's hard to say.

What a Bunch of Jerks: "Police in Marysville say vandals slashed tires on more than 100 vehicles in central Marysville early Friday."

What a Single Jerk: Justin Bieber's manager threw a Twitter fit about Biebs not getting any Grammy nominations. POOR BABY.

The NHL Lockout Goes On: Commissioner Gary JerkBettman is "disappointed" that this week's meetings didn't solve anything. ME TOO, GARY.