Is This the Worst Film Review Ever Written?

Comments

1
Is English his first language?
2
Hasn't he been doing this for years? I've never actually been to his site, but- is this what has been going on there all this time?

Well, it is based on a series of books by Lee Child that has huge fans.


Lee Child: Read by giants everywhere.
3
Wow, I've never liked his schtick, but this really does seem to reset the bar for terrible writing. "Living day by day the way he lives" deserves some kind of... well, whatever the opposite of "award" may be.
4
This seems abnormally bad and illiterate, even by Knowles standards.

most on the comment section seem to think that this is not really Knowles, and I can't blame them.
5
Would this be better or worse if it were written by a computer program?
6
@5 Better. If Harry did write this, I would say his physical injury has finally leaked into his brain.
7
I can't wait for the porn parody, "Jack Reacharound."
8
@7: Exactly. It already sounds like a porn actor's name.
9
I love how they had a short guy play a tall guy's role.

Computer program written review ftw!
10
I'm with @1, this isn't bad writing, this just isn't English.
11
I never saw that Blade 2 review. Holy shit. "BLADE 2 is the tongue, mouth, fingers and lips of a lover. The Audience is the clit."
12
Ugh, Harry Knowles.
13
I’ve heard that Harry Knowles is the nom de plume under which Chuck Mudede writes movie reviews. Their “writing” “styles” certainly are identical.
14
Harry is in really rough shape and is probably addicted to painkillers. That doesn't excuse his terrible writing but it does explain it. I feel very sorry for the man, he is obviously damaged.
15
To paraphrase David Sedaris, "Harry talk pretty one day." Or maybe not ever.
16
I don't understand why this site is even on anyone's radar. It comes off to me as someone's MySpace page that everyone loves for no good reason.
17
Wow. An average 7th grader can write better than that.
18
An Awk-award?

Sorry.
19
"You should not be surprised."

Made me LOLZ as the kids say. Also, @13 is an a-hole.
20
Holy hell, why hasn't the site been updated since 1995?!! So hideous
21
This reminds me of a professor I had once. He was a smart, successful scientist but he talked like some kind of Joe Sixpack caricature. Some people can be brilliant at math and science but practically unable to form a coherent sentence. Then again, Dr. Z didn't try to make his name as a movie reviewer either.
22
I think Ain't it Cool News is a pretty cool guy. He writes movie reviews and doesn't afraid of anything.
23
Harry Knowles has always been an awful sold out hack.
24
This is worse than Knowles used to be by a huge margin. Early onset dementia? Substance addiction? Hard to know.
25
Sorry. The Stranger movie reviews might be grammatically accurate, but they usually suck balls too. Casting stones...
26
"Shortest Distances"

'nuff said.
27
HTML is obviously not his first language, either...
28
And about his Inception review. Harry Knowles didn't get invited to the Dark Knight's set, so that's why he hates Nolan.
29
man you are douche, constant