Eagles didn't pull this kind of shit on us back when we had prayer in our schools:

Maybe if that kid had been armed he could've protected himself from that eagle. (I predict that this video will eat the Internet tonight. Thanks to Slog tipper Matt.)

UPDATE: The video is a hoax, says Gawker. We didn't have YouTube hoaxes back when we had prayer in our public schools. Okay, we didn't have YouTube then either, but still. Also, abortion pills.