Six Conversations I Did Not Wish to Have on Christmas

Comments

1
One post I did not want to read on Boxing Day. . . .
2
For a fun time, misread the headline for this article as "Sex Conversations I Did Not Wish to Have on Christmas" like I did.
3
Well, family is the most important thing, not that they're dreadful conversationalists. Merry Xmas!
4
Don't forget to give us regular anus updates over the holidays.
5
@4 I'm certain she'll do it in the end.
6
Wow… That explains a great deal about you. I think you should just stick your hand in the spider jar now and pray for a quick death. I see no hope for you.
7
Seven. Make it 7 conversations you could have avoided.
8
Thanks, Cienna, for lording it over the rest of us about how much more colorful your family is than ours.
9
I like your brother
10
This blog needs a goddamn "like" button.
11
I agree with UberAlles, your brother sounds like fun.
12
your grandmother sounds like.. ummm fun..i wish she could meet my aunt meatball.. yep ..that's what she likes to be called, 'meatball'.. your aunt sounds like .ummmm... not fun.
13
Why can't you tell people that your brother is in the Navy?
14
I'm sure your grandmother would fit in well at the Stranger office.
15
@14 -- with the grandma one, I thought for a second that I must have skipped and started reading one of those "overheard at the Stranger Office" posts, and was starting to wonder who to vote for.
16
"My mother: "I wish you were as easy to breed as my dog."

A friend just bred her dog; it cost mucho dinero grande. Among other fun things, the female didn't want to be mounted, and would run around and mount the male.

Until the male was lying there exhausted.
17
@16 -- If I had a nickel for every time that's happened to me... I'd be a really cheap prostitute.
18
My dad raised the topic of gun control while everyone else was off at church.

He said, completely seriously, "I never had a gun around the house because I was afraid your mother would shoot me."
19
Best laugh I've had in days. Thank you Cienna!
20
Best laugh I've had in days! Thank you Free Lunch.
21

What happens when you clip a MUVI camera to a ceiling fan?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d57oOQcgC…

22
You grandmother probably has either late-onset diaper rash or the beginning of anal cancer brought on by an HPV infection acquired long ago.
23
@15
That's pretty funny. I'm almost thinking one day on slog should be devoted to the word ANUS. Like that amazing day when all the posts were authored by that politician, I forget his name, Ken McConnell?
24
Oh we had:
"We're all just empty emotionless husks anyway", "Do people really smile because their happy or is it just something you do out of etiquette?" and "Christmas is like death - it happens so seldom that you never bother to remember what a chore it is"

I guess that was the highlight. :D Swedish christmas dinner ftw!
25
6) Oh, really? Thats fascinating, I'm into crystal too! I find that crystal meth absorbs negative energy and gives me super energy!

5) Maybe you haven't presented me with the right bitch/stud yet

4) I'll just tell them "Well, its really classified top secret but he is a peg boy for Seal Team 6 (though really why not take it that he isn't sharing that info & let it go?)

3) See #4

2) Well, then something positive is coming out of all that humping!

1) Oh dear, please show us all.

26
I wish you were as easy to breed as my dog.

Now that you mention it, has any female staff member of The Stranger ever squirted out a baby? Has a pregnant woman ever even set foot in your offices?
27
#6 deserves to rank at least #2, and #4 sounds like an awesome conversation. There must be years of context there that we're missing.
28
That's bullshit. The Navy is never hiring for the ice cream truck job. Someone gets it and never leaves the position so it's never open. Fuck the Navy.
29
hey dipshit number 25 & 26, tying an aunts shoes together in not so subtle ways is a good addition to the "things I can't believe I was stupid enough to do and dumb enough not to apologize for"