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Thursday, January 3, 2013

Meanwhile in Utah

Posted by on Thu, Jan 3, 2013 at 11:59 AM

If we didn't have Utah we'd have to make Utah up:

The Lehi City Council recently approved a request to change the name of one of its roads... The city council unanimously approved the renaming of Morning Glory Road to Morning Vista Road in a December 11 meeting. The name change was requested by a company called Xactware, who is constructing a new building on the street. Lehi City Council meeting notes say that the company requested the name change to fit with their “International Corporate image.” In an article from the Daily Herald, Lehi Councilman Mark Johnson says the company was concerned about the term “morning glory” and its association with one of its unofficial definitions.

Hm... how long will it take the forcers of dorkness on the Internet to come up with a new meaning for "Morning Vista" that conflicts with Xactware's corporate Image"?

 

Comments (35) RSS

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1
Morning Vista sounds a lot like Morning Fista. F and V are the produced by the same lingual- labio-dental arrangement (top teeth on bottom lip, tongue back in the mouth), but V is voiced and F is not. Morning Fista seems kind of self-explanatory and anti-corporate.
Posted by Chicago Fan on January 3, 2013 at 12:07 PM · Report this
very bad homo 2
If a gay pervert like ME had to look up the sexual definition of Morning Glory, then Utah is just full of people with dirty minds.
Posted by very bad homo on January 3, 2013 at 12:09 PM · Report this
Pick1 3
"Morning Glory" sounds too much like pitching a tent in the morning, how do we fix that?'

"How about Morning Vista, sir? That doesn't sound like pitching a tent at all."

"I CONCUR!"

Sigh..I live inside a stupid, stupid, bubble.
Posted by Pick1 on January 3, 2013 at 12:10 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 4
@ 2, same here. Maybe I'm just not hip, but until I read this, I had no idea that there was an "objectionable" unofficial definition.

That said, corporations do that stuff all the time. In one Denver suburb, there is an actually street named "Lucent Blvd."
Posted by Matt from Denver on January 3, 2013 at 12:13 PM · Report this
5
"How long will it take...?"

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph…
Posted by Bored@School on January 3, 2013 at 12:18 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 6
@4,
The address for Celestial Seasoning tea's HQ in Boulder is 4600 Sleepytime Drive.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 3, 2013 at 12:20 PM · Report this
Matt from Denver 7
@ 6, another good example.

Also, I meant to write the word "actual," not "actually" in my comment. Whoops.
Posted by Matt from Denver on January 3, 2013 at 12:22 PM · Report this
8
@3: the Morning Vista the act of looking down your body to your morning wood rising like the sun (aka the Morning Glory).
Posted by Drew2u on January 3, 2013 at 12:22 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 9
Morningwood would be a good alternative. Go for it, Lehi!
Posted by Max Solomon on January 3, 2013 at 12:26 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 10
Morning Vista could be cum stains on sheets.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on January 3, 2013 at 12:29 PM · Report this
rob! 11
Jesus Christ and all the Latter-Day Saints, what would the Mormons do without hard-ons? Their whole business model is predicated on them. Their churches are marked with pointy spires instead of crucifixes. And what about the heavenward jut of the trumpet that the Angel Moroni's always tooting?! You can't tell me that's accidental.

Why blush over a two-word phrase that most people associate with a flower?
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on January 3, 2013 at 12:35 PM · Report this
Dougsf 12
Why a company wouldn't want to be associated with a rock solid boner I just don't get.

Morning Vista sounds like awaking to realize your "date" isn't exactly what you thought they were.
Posted by Dougsf on January 3, 2013 at 12:36 PM · Report this
13
And here I was thinking that they didn't want the association with psychedelic drugs.
Posted by Gerald Fnord on January 3, 2013 at 12:38 PM · Report this
14
@6,7: And of course in Louisville, CO, the Storage Tek company is long since defunct, but it left behind the busy thoroughfare Storage Tek Drive, and its two minor cross streets (and in truth I kind of like these) Disc Drive and Tape Drive.
Posted by Eric from Boulder on January 3, 2013 at 12:46 PM · Report this
15
"Morning glory" as an "alternative meaning" is very old-fashioned. Those Utah guys must be older than dirt. Only old people get that one without having to look it up.
People like me.
Posted by originalcinner on January 3, 2013 at 1:19 PM · Report this
16 Comment Pulled
debug 17
Morning Vista is when you lift the sheets and take a POV shot of your Morning Glory and sext it to somebody.

Mourning Glory is when you have nobody to share it with...lol.

Posted by debug on January 3, 2013 at 1:36 PM · Report this
Sandiai 18
First thing I thought of was drugs too.
Posted by Sandiai on January 3, 2013 at 2:19 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 19
The first thing I thought of was Darren and Samantha Steven's residence, 1164 Morning Glory Circle. I had no idea it had an alternative meaning.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay http://www.danlangdon.com on January 3, 2013 at 2:26 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 20
Morning Vista is a blend of coffee and hashish. Not much of a change.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 3, 2013 at 2:44 PM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 21
I never heard this before. Thanks, Utah!
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on January 3, 2013 at 3:44 PM · Report this
22
Wow that company's PR team needs to be fired. They went from being able to look at people who snickered and say "it's a flower...what's wrong with you?" to having everyone in the world associate them with the perverted definition.
Posted by EclecticEel on January 3, 2013 at 3:49 PM · Report this
biffp 23
The definition for Morning Vista is even better:

After having unprotected sex, when you try to take a piss, but it goes everywhere and you have to clean the bathroom.

Posted by biffp on January 3, 2013 at 3:59 PM · Report this
I Hate Screen Names 24
I'd never heard of the dirty meaning of "morning glory" either. But I have a suggestion for "morning vista":

One of my exes was quite horny in the mornings, whereas I'm a late and heavy sleeper. Since I sleep on my back, she would frequently hike down my pants, ride my "morning glory" until she came, then hop in the shower. Most of the time I wouldn't even wake up. But when I did, I was treated to the "morning vista" of my hot, naked girlfriend already fucking me.

So a "morning vista" is waking up to see your partner making use of your "morning glory."
Posted by I Hate Screen Names on January 3, 2013 at 4:02 PM · Report this
25
I knew what a Morning Glory was, both erection and flower, but when I started to relate this story to my husband, he thought the company didn't like the band Oasis.
Posted by Evil Jenny on January 3, 2013 at 6:19 PM · Report this
26
Dan, you need to do a roadtrip for the next SLOG summer picnic to Glory Hole Recreation Area in California:

http://www.recreation.gov/camping/Glory_…
Posted by gearguy on January 3, 2013 at 6:23 PM · Report this
27
If money is involved anything is possible.
Posted by Weekilter on January 3, 2013 at 7:08 PM · Report this
28
@4: that's because Lucent is the only landowner on that street in the first place. Just like the owner of 1 Microsoft Way.
Posted by gromm on January 3, 2013 at 8:04 PM · Report this
29
Maybe if Mormons drank coffee they'd be more familiar with the deliciousness of Morning Glory muffins.
Posted by ignatz ratzkywatzky on January 3, 2013 at 8:28 PM · Report this
30
@1: Hee hee. 'Labio-dental'.
Posted by James Hutchings on January 4, 2013 at 4:04 AM · Report this
31
@25 - all I could think of was Oasis too. So I assumed the "other meaning" had to do with drugs. Then I tried googling it and only found the flower. So glad Slog is here to enlighten me. LOL
Posted by daphne24 http://www.ohiosmart.org on January 4, 2013 at 7:41 AM · Report this
Trinabeana 32
@6 Have you also taken the tour of their factory and stood inside the mint room?

This story reminds me of a road near my hometown that got its name changed, but not for corporate reasons. It used to be called Dead Indian Road, but now it's called Dead Indian Memorial Road. I just looked it up to find the answer to the question I've had ever since I saw the new name: Did they think adding the word "Memorial" somehow made it more politically correct? From http://www.oregonencyclopedia.org/entry/… "In the 1990s, Jackson County decided to change the name to Dead Indian Memorial Road, but controversy over the name continues to erupt." Gee, I can't imagine why.
Posted by Trinabeana on January 4, 2013 at 10:46 AM · Report this
33
Well I guess they'd better change the name of Afternoon Delight Blvd., then.
Posted by Mister G on January 4, 2013 at 12:39 PM · Report this
34
Xactware itself does not appear in the urban dictionary--yet--so I visited their website, and learned they make estimating software for insurance. Team, how can we immortalize Xactware in the urban dictionary?
Posted by Frank N. on January 9, 2013 at 9:45 AM · Report this
35
after my morning coffee I (and I'm sure this is not uncommon) have a very satisfying B.M. after which I (again not uncommon) HAVE to look at it before flushing.

this is my Morning Vista
Posted by kittykupz on January 15, 2013 at 10:46 AM · Report this

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