Back to school. Sandy Hook Elementary students will return to school for the first time since 20 classmates and six staff were gunned down in defense of Americans' right to maintain a well regulated militia. Classes will be held at a quickly refurbished school in a neighboring town.

We are an awful species. Five Delhi, India men have been charged with kidnap, gang-rape and murder of a 23-year-old woman who died two weeks after a brutal December 16 attack. The five defendants could face the death penalty. A sixth attacker, a 17-year-old man, will be tried as a juvenile, and faces a maximum three-year sentence.

"The proletariat is the undertaker of capitalism." Russian President Vladimir Putin has granted Russian citizenship to actor Gerard Depardieu, who is seeking tax asylum from his native France and its 75 percent tax on incomes above 1 million euros ($1.32 million).

Well, if Congress won't pass immigration reform, perhaps Obama will just do it on his own? A new rule could provide an easier path to permanent US residency for as many as one million undocumented immigrants who are immediate relatives of US citizens and permanent residents. Under the rule, undocumented immigrants who can demonstrate that being separated from a child, parent, or spouse would create "extreme hardship" could apply for a visa without leaving the country.

No doubt President Romney would claim credit. Payroll processing firm ADP says that the private sector added 215,000 jobs in December, a stronger number than economists expected.

You can call me Al... Jazeera. Pan-Arab news network Al-Jazeera will acquire Current TV, boosting its distribution into 40 million American homes. Current TV was co-founded by Al Gore, who will net millions on the deal.

Throwing Megan a few bones. Still no NHL season, but the US trounced Canada 5-1 in the world junior semi-finals. The US will play Sweden for the gold on Saturday.

It burns! IT BURNS! Yesterday, the earth crept only 91,402,560 miles from the sun, its closest distance of the year.

Horse's ass. Tim Eyman will file another stupid, self-serving initiative today.