Gun Accidentally Discharges at Kitsap Mall: I feel like every - single - time I look at the Kitsap Sun I see a headline to this effect. What is it about the safety lock concept Kitsapians aren't getting?
Mercer Island Apartment Building Forcing Tenants to Sign No-Pot Agreement: I sense a lawsuit.
Bigfoot Burglar Arrested in Monroe: According to the Everett Daily Herald, a man suspected of burglary was arrested, in large part due to his giant feet and the Canadian coins jangling in his pockets.
I'll Have a Double Soy McSteamy, Please: After winning the bid for Tully's, Patrick Dempsey's company Global Baristas LLC tweeted, "We met the green monster, looked her in the eye, and...SHE BLINKED! We got it! Thank you Seattle!" But actually a bankruptcy court will rule who wins the bid.
Millionaires Reach Agreement With Other Millionaires, Everyone Decides to Get Paid a Slightly Different Allocation of Millions: That's my understanding of the tentative deal the NHL made with the players union.
It's Game Day: You can watch the highly anticipated wildcard game Seattle vs. the other Washington at 1:30 PT. They say the Redskins' strategy will involve hitting our quarterback a lot. Also apparently you're supposed to tweet something.