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Monday, January 7, 2013

In the Wake of Harassment, Rape Video Star Is Sorry About Misogynist Comments

Posted by on Mon, Jan 7, 2013 at 5:04 PM

Michael Nodianos, the 18-year-old star of a lengthy video that seemingly mocks an alleged underage rape victim, has dropped out of college after becoming the target of threats, hacks, and harassment. Now his lawyer wants the world to know he's sorry for his actions:

Nodianos, who was drunk when he made the video, is “ashamed” of his behavior that night, “after some sober reflection,” his attorney said.

“He sincerely regrets the behavior. He was not raised to act in this manner… it really is just poor judgment.

A few thoughts: Given the vitriol of his 12-minute rape rant, it's very hard for me to take this apology seriously. I read it more as, "I'm very sorry that I got caught saying things that have caused me to be hated by at least half the world." Misogyny isn't like landing a DUI—it isn't the unfortunate byproduct of poor judgment and too much alcohol. It's rooted in a very real contempt for women.

That said, investigators have concluded that the 18-year-old wasn't present when the alleged assault on the girl occurred. And yet:

Yet Nodianos’s comments in the video have continued to haunt Nodianos. His family has received threats, and his Twitter account, email, and Facebook page were all hacked, along with the email accounts of his parents and grandparents, according to McNamara. Someone set up a fake Twitter account claiming to be Nodianos and continued to tweet offensive things about the case from it, he added.

“There were people trying to find his class schedule at OSU, trying to access him there,” McNamara said. “Some have even been at the dormitory during the fall term looking for him.

I meant what I wrote last week, that I hoped "this video follows these fucks around for the rest of their lives." I hope this video is brought up on every date and every job interview Nodianos is fortunate enough to land in his life. He should be held accountable again and again and again for the cruel, dehumanizing remarks he made again and again and again on tape. One apology through a lawyer isn't enough. He should be forced to look strangers in the eye—especially women (or men) he hopes to have intimate relationships with—and explain why what he said was horrible, offensive, and wrong. And maybe if he does that enough, he'll come to believe it.

But I'm sorry he's now the target of threats and hacks. I'm not surprised, but I am sorry because the threats make him into a victim in his and his family's eyes. Remember: He was not the victim, he was the bully and he needs to realize that. Threats aren't an effective learning tool in a situation like this; they aren't the antidote to misogyny.

 

Comments (48) RSS

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sperifera 1
As a public service to all the mysoginistic fucks out there that seem to always slather posts on this topic with mysoginist drivel, here's the question: "Come on Cienna, don't you ever post about anything other than rape culture shit?"
Posted by sperifera on January 7, 2013 at 5:15 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 2
I agree that the folks making the threats aren't behaving honorably. The major difference I see is that they at least try to aspire to some sort of moral decency, which Mr. Nodianos never did. He just laid out his hate & reveled in it.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 7, 2013 at 5:27 PM · Report this
3
If there's anything more striking than the utter lack of empathy a bully has for a victim, it's how rapidly he discovers how awful it is when he is the one under attack.
Posted by shambhaladawa on January 7, 2013 at 5:36 PM · Report this
monkey 4
I bet he's sorry.
Posted by monkey on January 7, 2013 at 5:43 PM · Report this
5
I've been thinking about this question with regards to the Chris Brown thing: how legitimate is it to hold someone permanently accountable for some offenses (racism, hate crimes, misogyny, wife beating) while we accept that other crimes (even murder) can be eventually atoned for? How do we decide what crimes reveal a deeply held, perhaps immutable, personality flaw whereas other crimes do not?
Posted by wxPDX on January 7, 2013 at 5:45 PM · Report this
Rotten666 6
Well that settles that!
Posted by Rotten666 on January 7, 2013 at 5:49 PM · Report this
8
@5
"How do we decide what crimes reveal a deeply held, perhaps immutable, personality flaw whereas other crimes do not?"

For me it is based upon the specific circumstances of the offense.
He did not rape her.
He was not present when she was raped.
Yet he felt that it was ok to make a video mocking her for being raped.
That seems to show some seriously messed up thought process.

Contrast that with calling a woman a "bitch" when she cuts you off in traffic.
And NOT spending the next 12 minutes ranting about how that bitch should be raped and killed.
Posted by fairly.unbalanced on January 7, 2013 at 6:19 PM · Report this
9
@5 Pretty much all crimes can be the result of a deeply embedded personality flaw. Sometimes this is very obvious, such as the case of Ted Bundy, and sometimes it's very subtle, or the flaw is not as serious.

However, criminals, like other people, can and do change, and they may face those inner demons and come to terms with them and become better people for it - even if they're still stuck in jail.

Nodianos here is now getting the lesson of a lifetime. (This is what we wanted, right? Some sort of mob "justice"?) This a major fork in the road of his life. Either he realizes why everyone hates him and how he screwed up, reflects on it, takes a bad situation, and turns it into a unique opportunity... or he hardens his view of himself as an innocent victim of the mob and grows up to be a bitterly hardened old man scraping by in small-town America.
Posted by floater on January 7, 2013 at 6:22 PM · Report this
Teslick 10
5 brings up a good point: When, exactly, is enough apologizing "enough"? Who will be the arbiter to decide? I do agree, one apology isn't sufficient, but to say he deserves a life sentence of shaming over what he said seems over the top.
Posted by Teslick on January 7, 2013 at 6:26 PM · Report this
Teslick 11
Ah, what floater said @ 9 was better than my poor musing.
Posted by Teslick on January 7, 2013 at 6:29 PM · Report this
12
"That said, investigators have concluded that the 18-year-old wasn't present when the alleged assault on the girl occurred."

Hard to believe given how much he seemed to enjoy his 12 minutes of making fun of Nicole Brown Simpson, Casey Anthony's daughter or any number of other dead people. Hard to believe given he said he wouldn't have cared it if were his daughter or sister.

I listened to him giggle - oddly, like a little girl - for those 12 minutes and he is nothing short of a pig. And he didn't get that way overnight or on alcohol. No, it is embedded far in his brain and it's going to take a lot more than an apology from a lawyer to change anyone's opinion.
Posted by westello on January 7, 2013 at 6:47 PM · Report this
13
"But I'm sorry he's now the target of threats and hacks"

Bullshit.
Posted by ryanmm on January 7, 2013 at 7:06 PM · Report this
14
I am so glad there was no internet, no youtube and no cell phone cameras when I was 18. I'd hate to have some stupid shit I said when I was 18 follow me around for the rest of my life.
Posted by tacomagirl on January 7, 2013 at 7:20 PM · Report this
15

Interesting graphic from Washington Post.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonk…

While the author is trying to focus you on unreported rapes, what caught my eye was that the ratio of rape convictions to false rapes was 4 to 1!! And an allegation causes as much damage as a conviction

Imagine if felony convictions to false allegations was 4 to 1, or God forbid, capital crimes! I definitely think that civil lawsuits should be stepped up...
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on January 7, 2013 at 7:29 PM · Report this
internet_jen 16
The Internet Super Highway has an extremely efficient 'he-said /she-said' lane.

This also reminds me of the that college football player got sacked due to his racist comments on twitter about Obama's Newton speech preempting the 49'ers game.

When my nerdy friends and I were in college, got wasted and did racey things, the next morning we'd post the pics [to our livejournal] under the heading "Look At All These Incriminating Photos I Have of All of Us, None of Us Can Ever Run For Office Now"

What a rude awakening to how data and telecommunications work.
Posted by internet_jen on January 7, 2013 at 7:54 PM · Report this
piminnowcheez 17
I really don't see a lifetime of diminished employment and social opportunities as just desserts for saying mean things while teenaged.

No doubt that, if all we have to go on is this video, this kid qualifies as loathesome and antisocial. But as far as I know, that IS all most of us (including Cienna) have to go on: based on one 12 minute episode of deplorable speech uttered in adolescence, we're supposed to wish a lifetime of disadvantage on this guy? That seems like some creepy, lynch-mobbish thinking to me.
Posted by piminnowcheez on January 7, 2013 at 8:04 PM · Report this
18
Wish people would stop taking youtube videos so seriously. And anonymous "leaks." Seriously, that hole thing was obviously shit all the way through.
Posted by GermanSausage on January 7, 2013 at 8:04 PM · Report this
19
"I hope this video is brought up on every date and every job interview Nodianos is fortunate enough to land in his life. He should be held accountable again and again and again for the cruel, dehumanizing remarks he made again and again and again on tape."

I totally get where you are coming from Cienna, but I do not think that we should punish people for the rest of their lives for being moronic teenagers. He is a disgusting 18 year old, but he is only 18. I'd hate to have every stupid thing I did or said when I was 18 rubbed in my face today.

I also feel the attitude of forcing people to eat their mistakes for the rest of their lives is a very concervative position. Take, for example, the conservative position on poverty. Their position is that one should 1) finish high schools; 2) not get pregnant out of wedlock; and 3) not get married until finished with school. They believe that if one does this, they will not be poor. But if they violated any of these tenants, and are now poor, it is their own damn fault and they do not deserve any sympathy or public assistance. Nevermind that the mistake of not finishing school happened at the ripe old age of 16, it is still a mistake that you deserve to be punished for in perpetuity.

That is fucked up.

So what I am saying is that we should be punishing this 18 year old fuck now, but not in perpetuity, and wishing a life of suffering for the comments he made when he was 18 is wrong.
Posted by ourkind on January 7, 2013 at 8:22 PM · Report this
pfffter 20
Yeah he should wear a scarlet letter for the rest of his fucking life!

Come on. His actions are deplorable, but he's a stupid kid. It shouldn't ruin the rest of his already ruined life.

Come on, Cienna. Shylock much?
Posted by pfffter on January 7, 2013 at 8:29 PM · Report this
long-time reader 21
If somebody were really raised to act so viciously, I would show an iota of forgiveness for their behavior. Admitting you weren't raised to do this shit is admirably honest, but makes the bad behavior that much more inexcusable.
Posted by long-time reader on January 7, 2013 at 8:38 PM · Report this
sperifera 22
Society will stop punishing this (currently) POS soon enough, as collectively society has a short memory. This will, however, mark this young man for the rest of his life, justifiably or not. He can carry it with him negatively forever, and continue to be a POS, or he can own it. He'll never be able to shed it, but he can use the opportunity to learn from his ghastly wrong, and become a decent human being. I'm not holding out much hope for the latter, sad to say.
Posted by sperifera on January 7, 2013 at 9:38 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 23
@10 Your question about apologies is a good one. I liken it to the famous line about porn. "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it."
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 7, 2013 at 10:00 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 24
He should be forced to look strangers in the eye—especially women (or men) he hopes to have intimate relationships with—and explain why what he said was horrible, offensive, and wrong. And maybe if he does that enough, he'll come to believe it.
Or maybe he'll be ostracized and tormented so much he hits a breaking point, gets a gun, and goes on a shooting rampage before killing himself.

But hey, as long as you feel your smug, holier-than-thou self satisfaction, it's all worth it, right?

I'm sure you've never said anything hateful or shameful when you were drunk or a teen.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on January 7, 2013 at 10:09 PM · Report this
25
Trying not to feel so confused and disgusted by some of the comments here, though it's hard to keep my temper under control when speaking of such a heated topic. But to everyone who is asking for sympathy to this... this guy.... this THING? This isn't a case of "stupid shit we said when we were 18". "Stupid shit we said/did when we were 18" is yelling at your parents when you don't get your way, or getting super trashed on the weekend, getting into fights, and cussing people out just because we can. "Stupid shit we said/did when we were 18" IS NOT making light of rape-- and that's not even grazing the SURFACE of what this is. I do fear this turning into a witch hunt, but you cannot possibly say that he doesn't deserve to face the consequences of his actions. Not only was he aware of the rape that had occurred, he continually made jokes about her being DEAD. What kind of sick fuck sits there and makes jokes about some girl who was just abused in the worst way and may have lost her life? Granted, she didn't die that night, but he believed she might have-- no, he believed she most definitely was dead. And that made him giggle. Why aren't you more upset? Why is feeling upset about this being criticized as being fucking SMUG? Are you KIDDING ME? This isn't just hateful, shameful behavior. This is NOT fucking boys being boys, and I am sick and tired of these sorts of things not being taken seriously. I read a great article on the subject, and I'm leaving the link here, in case anyone wants to read it. Now I'm gonna try and find some way to regain my faith in humanity.

http://www.thegloss.com/2013/01/04/cultu…
Posted by mjeleon on January 7, 2013 at 10:33 PM · Report this
26
Trying not to feel so confused and disgusted by some of the comments here, though it's hard to keep my temper under control when speaking of such a heated topic. But to everyone who is asking for sympathy to this... this guy.... this THING? This isn't a case of "stupid shit we said when we were 18". "Stupid shit we said/did when we were 18" is yelling at your parents when you don't get your way, or getting super trashed on the weekend, getting into fights, and cussing people out just because we can. "Stupid shit we said/did when we were 18" IS NOT making light of rape-- and that's not even grazing the SURFACE of what this is. I do fear this turning into a witch hunt, but you cannot possibly say that he doesn't deserve to face the consequences of his actions. Not only was he aware of the rape that had occurred, he continually made jokes about her being DEAD. What kind of sick fuck sits there and makes jokes about some girl who was just abused in the worst way and may have lost her life? Granted, she didn't die that night, but he believed she might have-- no, he believed she most definitely was dead. And that made him giggle. Why aren't you more upset? Why is feeling upset about this being criticized as being fucking SMUG? Are you KIDDING ME? This isn't just hateful, shameful behavior. This is NOT fucking boys being boys, and I am sick and tired of these sorts of things not being taken seriously. I read a great article on the subject, and I'm leaving the link here, in case anyone wants to read it. Now I'm gonna try and find some way to regain my faith in humanity.

http://www.thegloss.com/2013/01/04/cultu…
Posted by mjeleon on January 7, 2013 at 10:36 PM · Report this
27
(sorry about the double post)
Posted by mjeleon on January 7, 2013 at 10:39 PM · Report this
28
what an amazing whiney seattle apologist conumdrum...a mysoginist cretan gets hoisted by his own You-tube pitard for heinous hate speech...but now we're afraid he's being punished too hard ...poor little guy...whah.

jesus. freaking. christ.

he's 18. not 12 . thats an adult. old enough to bear the consequences for his actions. if shit gets bad enough, he can move, change his name, whatever. tough shit. maybe, just maybe, he will learn some restraint, a bit of critical thinking, and something about empathy and what its like being in a position of powerlessness to a 'mob' . so the next time, just maybe, he might help someone who is in a tough spot, rather than laugh at them.

Posted by Cassette tape fan on January 7, 2013 at 11:08 PM · Report this
seandr 29
He should be held accountable again and again and again

Yes, he's not even human, he should be denied anything resembling a life, he'll never learn his lesson, put a scarlet letter on him, register him as a sex offender, no mercy, run him out of town, and then run him out of the next town, hate him hate him hate him!

Threats aren't an effective learning tool in a situation like this

Yeah, seriously, what's with the threats?
Posted by seandr on January 7, 2013 at 11:23 PM · Report this
seandr 30
@28: he's 18. not 12 . thats an adult. old enough to bear the consequences for his actions.

True that. Thank god I was never caught for some of the things I did at 18, or my life would have taken quite a different course indeed.
Posted by seandr on January 7, 2013 at 11:25 PM · Report this
NaFun 31
And if you think of everything he said as a bad personalized version of The Aristocrats, does it change your mind?
Posted by NaFun http://www.dancesafe.org on January 7, 2013 at 11:43 PM · Report this
32
@27 Hey, I'm with you.

It sounds like we're forgetting what they did to this girl. They may or may not have targeted her and lured her to the party, they fed her alcohol and drugs until she was incapacitated and eventually passed out, the stripped her, they fondled her, they rubbed themselves on her, they forced anal and intercourse on her, they carried her to other parties so others could have some fun with her, they peed on her, and they filmed and photographed it, and talked about it on Twitter and Facebook. And they shared their videos and pictures. (Did I miss something?)

It's bad enough if the girl was an adult, but she was sixteen, to top it off.

Now, I'm no lawyer, but rape, assault, corruption of a minor, aiding and abetting, and production and distribution of child porn should start off the list of charges. This isn't getting drunk and acting stupid. This is potentially, purposefully destroying a person's life and perpetrating major felonies. They're lucky if they don't do jail time, and they probably won't (like most rapists). Please, please don't equate the dumb things we've all done with the violent, heartless crime these boys did. There's great, yawning difference between the two.

Even if Nodianos was not one of the rapists, he knew about it and may have encouraged the actual event. I wouldn't be surprised if he's witnessed other rapes or participated himself. The evidence suggests that this girl wasn't the first victim. Think for a second about the other unnamed girls who will now carry the scar of a rape for the rest of their lives, knowing that the boys who did got away with it. We're nailing Nodianos (no pun intended) for those girls, as well as this one, and the girls they would have raped if this victim and her family hadn't stood and put an end to the party. We need to traumatize the living hell out of these kids so that they won't even think about doing this again (it's that serious), and so that the other privileged boys in towns (and others) will be put on notice that the hammer of society will crash down on them if they try to do the same thing.

Annnnnnd the football coach, the sheriff-for-life, the prosecuting attorney who's the mother of one of the Rape Crew boys, the teachers who encourage the football players to cheat on exams - all the grownups who've taught the kids that money and success take priority over fairness and common human decency, that the only real crime is getting caught, who have created this little viper pit of young career criminals - their whole institutional edifice to the god of football needs to be demolished. It's the town's only real economy, but it has been built on the pain and frustration of those who were unlucky enough to be the collateral damage of the fire that kept the football god sated, from the poor saps who had to actually sacrifice for their grades to all the girls who were raped. The adults are as much at fault as the rapists. Not only do I hope Google tags Nodianos (a rather unique name) to the Rape Crew, I hope that people remember Steubenville, with its Big Red football program, as Rapeville.
More...
Posted by floater on January 7, 2013 at 11:53 PM · Report this
33
@28 I don't know what's going on here, either. We liberals tend to be quick to forgive and be fair to others, see the other side, etc., but this is taking that too far.
Posted by floater on January 8, 2013 at 12:00 AM · Report this
34
This thread is nothing more than a testament to Moral Relativism.

It all boils down to one simple truth:

If you're going to get blasted and spout a bunch of egotistical, nasty shit, please make sure the camera isn't rolling.

You'll wake up with more than a few "I'm sorry I acted like a Dickhead last night" texts to send....

Stupid Prick.
Posted by miz kika on January 8, 2013 at 12:52 AM · Report this
Cienna Madrid 35
@1, If everyone would agree to stop being rapey, misogynist assholes, I would gratefully retire.
Posted by Cienna Madrid on January 8, 2013 at 7:10 AM · Report this
36
Age, is no excuse. "He was only 18, so we cannot hold this against him forever. My son "was only 18" when he went to Iraq to defend this country. "Only 18", and now he is 50% disabled forever. At 18 you have enough sense to be given a gun to kill by our governemnt...no, by us. 18 year old is no excuse for his actions. What has this country become?
Posted by Crazyville on January 8, 2013 at 8:00 AM · Report this
38
@31 you mean if we think of things that are False as True, does that change my mind? yeah sure, why not.
Posted by Cassette tape fan on January 8, 2013 at 8:29 AM · Report this
39
@36 how, exactly, did your son defend the country? Seems you've only provided another example of an 18 year old kid doing something stupid.
Posted by GermanSausage on January 8, 2013 at 9:13 AM · Report this
40
German Sausage, you also are considered, at 18, to be old enough to vote, sign legal contracts, and get married. I will not take your comment personally, as you must be younger than 18.
Posted by Crazyville on January 8, 2013 at 10:08 AM · Report this
41
@40. 35. But even at 18 I wasn't as stupid as your kid, or as stupid as you are now, for that matter. Hell, I've got more respect for the misogynist in the story. All he did was run his mouth off. And he later apologized for it.
Posted by GermanSausage on January 8, 2013 at 10:41 AM · Report this
Bonefish 42
He'll be ostracized badly for some time (not for the rest of his life: as another commenter said, society has a short memory. I've forgotten his name already). I don't approve of the threats he's getting, but I'm fine with him being ostracized, and here's why:

At this point, if he grows up and distances himself (genuinely) from the misogynist drivel he spewed in the video, he'll be treated fine. He'll be seen as a reformed asshole, and his decision to really rethink his views will have been (at least) partially motivated by the backlash he received when he put them out there.

If he doesn't rethink his bile, then frankly he deserves the ostracism. That's how ostracism works: if you are despicable enough, everyone around you reacts negatively (and whether he's 18 or 58, what he said in that video is far beyond any grey area when it comes to calling him despicable). It's not like he was sentenced to a lifetime of ostracism; if his views are vile enough to invoke this type of reaction, then it's up to him to reform himself. Meanwhile I won't shed any tears that the online world didn't allow him to keep his awfulness a secret. He behaved like an asshole and now a far bigger audience than he intended knows that he's an asshole.

This kid was surrounded by people who approved at the time but his rant became exposed to the wider world of people who don't. This could be a blessing in disguise for him, unless of course he really is vile enough to deserve whatever ostracism comes his way.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 8, 2013 at 11:59 AM · Report this
Bonefish 43
Post 41 is a case in point: He's showing himself to be a dipshit who misses the main point of the posts he's responding to in a sad attempt to be a "shocking, in-your-face" troll. As a result, everyone who reads his post knows what a dipshit he is, and it's his own fault.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 8, 2013 at 12:04 PM · Report this
44
@43 "I don't agree with you you must be a troll."

Are you one of those "the war in Iraq was to protect muh freedums" shit-for-brains too?
Posted by GermanSausage on January 8, 2013 at 12:32 PM · Report this
Bonefish 45
It's more like "you're ignoring his main point and changing the subject so you must be a troll."

If you really think this thread is a debate about the Iraq war, you're too dumb for me to enlighten you so I won't bother.
Posted by Bonefish http://5bmisc.blogspot.com/ on January 8, 2013 at 2:33 PM · Report this
yucca flower 46
Uh, yeah, for those of you saying this guy is only guilty of saying gross things, you might want to actually read what Alexandria Goddard blogged and what KnightSec released. The cops aren't charging any more people but don't think only 2 people were involved. Dozens were. And if Michael Nodianos wasn't present he certainly did procure the video of the sexual assault of a minor, and then watched and enjoyed it enormously. He might not be guilty of rape but he certainly did procure child pornography for which he deserves to be punished for.

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/national/…
Posted by yucca flower on January 8, 2013 at 7:04 PM · Report this
47
Maybe if these 18-year-old psychopaths were forced to face the consequences of their monstrosity, they would at least be less smug in their celebration of human torture. I don't care what happens to these "boys". They have forfeited all sympathy. My concern is entirely on the girl whose life they marred. Try them as adults, and let them pay the price. They are people, not hamsters, and they knew what they were doing. They just didn't care.
Posted by Karina on January 8, 2013 at 8:37 PM · Report this
48
I don't feel bad for this guy, the threats and other stuff are just a very similar medicine, although I do not under any circumstance endorse threatening or anything criminal.

But forced to do anything? I can't agree with that, freedom of speech is for everyone, not just those that we agree with or those that say mild things. I did not watch this video, I don't have the stomach for it, but when the ACLU defended the right of the white power groups to march in the streets with their hate message, I understood why and supported the ACLU. Free speech is for everyone. But I recall a quote from a past president, something about speech being free, but not without consequence. I too, hope this follows the guy(s) around for a long time, not life, but enough to ensure proper consequence. We should sentence him to work at the Book Store in Portlandia... That would be worse than a Death Sentence!!!!!!!!!
Posted by scratchmaster joe on January 9, 2013 at 2:49 PM · Report this
49
The video footage was leaked in JANUARY. If folks were looking for him fall semester it's because they knew of his behavior prior to the video being released. Hint hint.
Posted by squirrely girl on January 9, 2013 at 5:46 PM · Report this
50
@15

That's because so many rapes are not reported. If all rapes were reported, the ratio would probably be more like 10 to 1.
Posted by ML77 on January 10, 2013 at 9:49 PM · Report this

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