Marty Klein called bullshit on the concept of "sex addiction" in the July/August issue of the Humanist:
In thirty-one years as a sex therapist, marriage counselor, and psychotherapist, Iâve never seen sex addiction. Iâve heard about virtually every sexual variation, obsession, fantasy, trauma, and involvement with sex workers, but Iâve never seen sex addiction.
New patients tell me all the time how they canât keep from doing self-destructive sexual things; still, I see no sex addiction. Instead, I see people regretting the sexual choices they make, often denying that these are decisions. I see people wanting to change, but not wanting to give up what makes them feel alive or young or loved or adequate; wanting the advantages of changing, but not wanting to give up what makes them feel theyâre better or sexier or naughtier than other people. Most importantly, I see people wanting to stop doing what makes them feel powerful, attractive, or loved, but since they donât want to stop feeling powerful, attractive or loved, they canât seem to stop the repetitive sex clumsily designed to create those feelings.
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Perhaps the most interesting thing about the sex addiction movementâand certainly the most tellingâis that it did not arise from the field of sex therapy or any other sexuality-related field. Rather, it was started in 1983 by Patrick Carnes, whose background is in counselor education and organizational development. He claims no training in human sexuality. âSex addictionâ has been adopted enthusiastically by the addiction community, and to a lesser extent by the marriage and family professionâthe latter historically undertrained and uncomfortable with sexuality. You can, for example, become a licensed marriage counselor without ever hearing the words vibrator, clitoris, spanking, tongue-kissing, or panties during your education.
Almost thirty years after its invention by Carnes, âsex addictionâ is still not a popular concept in the fields of sex therapy, sex education, or sex research. Of course, the media loves it, decency groups love it, and those who identify as some other kind of addict (alcohol, food, drugs) love it, especially if theyâre fans of the Twelve Steps.
The whole piece is worth your timeâand Klein rightly points out that almost everyone who takes the Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST), which you can find at sexhelp.com (click the âAm I a sex addict?â link), qualifies as a sex addict.