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Thursday, January 10, 2013

Sex If the Coach of the Jets Is a Cuckold...

Posted by Dan Savage on Thu, Jan 10, 2013 at 10:02 AM

...then he hated this conversation but it gave him a boner regardless. That's how cuckolds roll.

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Exhibitionist cuckold at that. He didn't get that tattoo on his arm thinking nobody would ever see it.

Serious question: when you talk about exhibitionists, are you a participant in their sex life? When you joke about them, are you being disrespectful, or are you giving them what they want? If you fire your coach (or other public face of your organization) for bringing this kind of attention on themselves, are you discriminating against their sexuality?

OK, that's 3 questions I guess.

Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

on January 10, 2013 at 10:14 AM

Are the subtitles provided by the "bad lip reading" folks?
Because they're often wrong and funny.

Posted by nocutename on January 10, 2013 at 10:19 AM

First of all, I can't tell you how happy it makes me to have the word "cuckold" being discussed on news shows.

And secondly, someone needs the check Mrs Ryan for a charm anklet and/or Queen of Spades tat.

Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go beat off...

Posted by Mike in MO on January 10, 2013 at 10:25 AM

I can't take football. It's horrible. I don't know one player from another but I did just google Mark Sanchez and wow, he could turn anyone's head. Yum!

Posted by samanthaf63 on January 10, 2013 at 10:30 AM

That was hilarious. And they're right - it DOES explain a lot of questionable decisions they've made regarding Sanchez.

Posted by Matt from Denver on January 10, 2013 at 10:44 AM

I give fuckall about football, but I 110% support Rex Ryan's right to private kinkyness.

Posted by Asparagus! on January 10, 2013 at 10:51 AM

yeah I have a hard time seeing how this is anyone's business but Rex Reid (or Reed or whatever it is) and his wife, and maybe Sanchez, and maybe Tebow (yuck).

Not my business, don't much care.

Posted by Evan_mmmm on January 10, 2013 at 11:18 AM

Why do these anchors shout all the time? They have excellent sound equipment.

Posted by JJinAus on January 10, 2013 at 11:20 AM

He has had the tattoo for three years, before (I would imagine), he would have had time to invite Sanchez into his wife's bed.

I mean come on, do you think he got off the plane in New York and just said "Hey Mark, I got something you should see at the hotel?"

Posted by Theodore Gorath on January 10, 2013 at 11:27 AM

Something for all you non-football fans out there: the most common (& highest) score in football is a touchdown, which gives you 6 points. If this tattoo is more than 4 years old, before Sanchez was drafted or assigned that number (which it very well could be-- tattoos are permanent, doncha no), then the 6 could refer to 'scoring a touchdown.' W/ all the double-entendres, innuendos that that all entails.

Ryan's acting suspicious is an eye-brow raiser, but the above situation could still explain his embarrassment, as now the tattoo refers to Sanchez. Either way, what's really important here is that Ryan sucks as a head coach, the Jets organization sucks as a football team, Sanchez & his understudy, the uber-Jebus lovin' Tim Tebow also suck as professional QBs, and they will for a very long time.

And I'm okay with that.

Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on January 10, 2013 at 11:28 AM

@ 9, where are you getting that information about how long he's had the tattoo? (The answer may not matter, since Sanchez has been with the Jets for four seasons. But I'm curious.)

Posted by Matt from Denver on January 10, 2013 at 11:42 AM

The tattoo designer "swiped" the art from illustrator Robert Ullman, who is a frequent contributor to The Stranger. So give Ullman a cover already, guys.

Posted by --MC on January 10, 2013 at 11:47 AM

Where in the world is that hilarious transcription coming from? I hope it's Siri doing it and not an actual person.

Posted by CLDG on January 10, 2013 at 11:52 AM

Oh, come on. It is obviously a hidden message that is fucking or wants to fuck Sanchez. Duh.

Posted by LML on January 10, 2013 at 12:22 PM

Rex Ryan is the Frank N' Furter of NFL coaches.

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe

on January 10, 2013 at 12:29 PM

The coach is kind of the boss. I'd be worried about sexual harassment in the workplace. As long as he keeps his tattoos covered up in the locker room et al., though, I'd say that it's at least arguably a private matter.

Clarification: A cuckold is a man whose wife has cheated on him. A man who fantasizes or eroticizes the idea of being cheated upon is a cuckold fetishist.

Oh no, now they're talking about sports! Boring! Oh God, so boring! Must... stay... awake...

WHAT THE HECK A RAPE CONVICTION OVERTURNED JUST BECAUSE SHE'S NOT MARRIED?! Being married has nothing to do with who gave consent to what!

Posted by DRF on January 10, 2013 at 1:14 PM

did you know that some people just don't/can't/won't put a lot of thought into their tatoos? insight and long-range planning are not hallmarks of a majority of professional athletes.

Posted by Max Solomon on January 10, 2013 at 1:21 PM

There's nothing quite so lame as a public 'vanilla' conversation about kink.

Posted by johnyawl on January 10, 2013 at 2:20 PM

I will forgive Rex Ryan almost anything because I am convinced that the Kissing Suzy Kolber's "It Gets Worse" post was real and describes the real Sexy Rexy. You will not convince me otherwise.

Posted by crivins on January 11, 2013 at 6:38 AM

Is the jersey clean? Maybe his kink is a dirty sanchez.

Posted by frankdawg on January 11, 2013 at 9:10 AM