I'm a Cryer Too

Comments

1
Beautiful story. Impossible to know how many lives she changed for the better. That is an amazing legacy.
2
*sniffle* Dan, I admit it, I sniffled at the "It Gets Better" Google Chrome commercial. I wish I was a tough non-weepy babe, but this made me teary. My mom doesn't approve of my bi self & we don't talk. So it made me sniffle for a different reason. I'm jealous of the great relationship you had w/ your mother.

I'll stop w/ the pity party now. ;) RIP Ms. Jeanne: thanks for all the help & love you shared w/ the world. "Just another shade.." How brilliantly put.
3
Thank you Jeanne. Your love for your son changed the heart of a nation.
4
When I moved to Seattle, I promptly volunteered for the parade (security). It was my first Pride, and I wasn't yet familiar with PFLAG. Seeing them in the parade totally made me cry. While my parents wouldn't be caught dead there, Jeanne's legacy has definitely touched me.
5
I'm not a cryer but that story made me blub. It was a small start, long ago, and look what it turned into. Great stuff.
6
Dan, your mom would be proud knowing that you helped create a similar movement appropriate to your time and place in the world, with some of the same specific needs, and using the new technology available to spread a message of hope.

It's interesting by comparison that the arc of Jeanne's idea, from that first pride parade to national prominence on the Today show, was five or six years.
7
Not a crier here either, and I TOTALLY had tears streaming down my face. My parents have miles to go before this could be them, I don't think they'll even get here, really, but I am so so glad that parents like this are out there. It makes me feel more accepted and loved even though we've never met.
8
My parents were confused and not quite sure how to deal with it when I first came out to them many years ago. PFLAG helped them immensely. Just having other parents to talk with and process the information made a huge difference for them. They weren't bad parents, just uneducated and unsure of what to do with a gay son.

Since then my parents have remained active with PFLAG. They are more influential than many of us realize. It is pretty easy for a conservative legislator to dismiss me when I demand equal rights. It is a lot harder for a legislator to dismiss a parent organization who demands equal rights for their children.

You will be missed, Jeanne Manford.
9
I cried too:(
10
NPR story tonight in which Dan is briefly quoted:

http://www.npr.org/2013/01/12/169223070/…
11
@4 and@7 I really hope one day your parents will surprise you with greater compassion.
12
I'm still moved to tears when ever PFLAG is mentioned. I would have liked for my parents to have felt understanding teh ghey was important enough to have learned more about it, but they weren't. But like others above, just knowing that parents like Mrs Manford were out there provides comfort to the many of us who's parents have never evolved or even attempted to.
To be fair, my folks weren't really interested in too much about any of their kids- just 'hurry up and grow up so we can get you out of the house and resume our life'.
13
I'm crying right now. My mother never really came around before she died. God bless the parents who do.
14
I never realized I had so much in common with Rachel Maddow. I cry at everything.
But this is a woman and a story and a movement really worth crying about. How simple an act, to embrace and love your child, yet how brave and apparently infrequent.
My heart goes out to all of those here and everywhere whose parents couldn't see that you were the same people they had always known and loved, no matter who you fall in love with or want to have sex with. You deserve more/better from your parents.

I'm a straight mother of two girls, (13 & 18) whom I think are straight. But I cannot imagine that my love for them would be affected at all if they came out as gay, bi, trans, whatever. My love is probably conditional, in that if I was the mother of a Jeffery Dahmer, or a Ted Bundy, or a John Wayne Gacy, I don't know how I'd be able to love or to support my kid. But even then, I think I would love the child that he had been.

Jeanne Manford speaks for me in her unconditional loving acceptance and support of her child. But the fact that her public statement of love and support went from being a personal one to a movement which helped change so many minds and attitudes is inspiring. She sounds like a candidate for the Nobel Peace Prize to my mind.
15
@14 So sweet of you to make such an effort for both serial killers and homosexuals. Makes me all fuzzy inside. Is there a graded, kinsy-esque scale where gays fall somewhere between heterosexuals and murderers?
16
@15 You're welcome.
17
@15, please re-read @14.
18
Thank you, Rob!.
@15, perhaps I wasn't as clear as I intended to be. I certainly didn't mean to imply that I equate disturbed, psychopathic murderers with gay people.
I meant that inherent in the very notion that what Jeanne Manford did was remarkable, as well as in the testimonials of many people, some right here in this comment thread, is the idea that some parents love their children conditionally.

That is not only incredibly sad to me, but a completely foreign concept to me. At first I was going to say that my love is 105% unconditional, but then, in the spirit of total truthfulness, I asked myself under what circumstances I would stop, if not loving, at least supporting my children--and the only thing I could come up with was if they deliberately and savagely took the lives of others to satisfy some urges within themselves. But even then, I think I would love the young child inside the murderer.

I am dismayed and mystified, but sadly no longer surprised that any parent could turn love off for his/her child because of that child's sexual orientation or identity. I didn't mean to insult anyone.

And I'm dismayed, though I shouldn't be surprised, that someone is so willing to distort my meaning to one of bigotry and insensitivity.
19
@nocutename

I'm not a native speaker but I understood your meaning the first time around. I don't think it's uncommon for parents to check with their conscience how unconditional their love of their children is, especially if they've been around people who use psychological violence to manage their kids. I've heard mothers say to kindergardeners "pick that up or Mommy won't love you anymore". It's appalling.

If one of my kids had committed a murder, I think I would still love him/her but I would be the one bringing them to the police. But I hope it never happens.