From the Anything to Avoid Raising Taxes Department comes HB 1051, a Republican-sponsored bill to finance our highways by selling off the naming rights on state transportation facilities. You know, like the "Toyota Tacoma Double Cab PreRunner V6 Narrows Bridge." Or something.
Personally, I'm opposed to selling the naming rights on state bridges and highways because I think it cheapens the commons and reinforces our irresponsible something-for-nothing political narrative, whereas Charles is for it because he's the world's worst Marxist. But if this bill does pass, we were thinking: What would be an appropriate sponsorship of the new Alaska Way Viaduct tunnel?
We considered passing the plate to raise the money to name it the Dominic Holden Victory Tunnel, but that unfortunately would violate Section 2, Paragraph 4(e), expressly prohibiting: "Any material that is so objectionable under contemporary community standards as to be reasonably foreseeable that it will incite or produce imminent lawless action in the form of retaliation, vandalism, or other breach of public safety, peace, and order." Ah well.
So please feel free to offer in the comment thread your suggestions for fitting corporate sponsorships as our state auctions off its last shred of self-respect.