If You Were Wondering Whether the $10 Chocolate Bars at Stumptown, Which Were Hand-Crafted by Brooklyn "Artisans" to Openly Mock My Poverty, Are Worth the Price...

Comments

1
Better to get a Congo Bar made by Theo's Chocolate at SIFF Uptown instead.

There's even a $3 special on Theo's Chocolate right now. Made in America. In Seattle. Fair Trade. Organic. No bunnies were harmed in the manufacture. Also bike friendly.
2
Not that I'd ever spend $10 on a chocolate bar from Brooklyn but thanks for the tip.
3
Then what the fuck is all of that brown shit covering every street in New York?!

...oh... oh no. oh god. oh... oh god...
4
I love chocolate and I love Brooklyn but I wouldn't pay $10 for a chocolate bar, ESPECIALLY when you live in Seattle where Theo bars are made! I live in upstate NY and buy Theo bars from the local food co-ops (where they cost under $4, but close to $4).
5
Putting salt in chocolate is just wrong
6
At a certain price point, it don't matter.

Okay, I know Godiva is so over, but slurped up several of my stepmother's high priced chocolates recently and...

See's is better, and I'm still a fan of Milkyways.
7
@6: That stuff is awful, and oppresses children worse than almost any other First World indulgence.

Sorry to be blunt, but really, chocolate should be a luxury. Mass-produced low-grade cacao is evil.
8
@5,

Putting salt in chocolate is delicious.
9
Putting salt in chocolate is the only true path to god. Or only chocolate path, at any rate; there are any number of hard liquors that get you there as well.

The best I've ever had is the "Salty Dog" bar from B.T. McElrath in Minneapolis, but they're too damned expensive; $6 at PCC. I make do with Theo.
10
Yes! A shout-out to B. T. McElrath! Incredible chocolate if your parents are buying it for your stocking stuffers.
11
I just don't understand salt on chocolate.
12
I like fries dipped in chocolate ice cream.

Also, theo's is very good and amusingly named. (Although I'm partial to chocolates from Belgium.)
13
Ooh, I like the other B.T. McElrath one, with the toffee chips. Hairy Dog? Rabid Dog? Whatever.
14
Prairie Dog!!
15
@11

I'm with you. Salt belongs in sauerkraut.
16
Add caramel and you'll understand.
17
I bought a box of 36 Hersey bars for $27 at the Cash 'N Carry, gave a few away at Halloween and have been munching them down every since. Hersey's are made with real sugar, not corn syrup. It is all I need to know.
18
Stumptown is becoming a parody chain store of what people in the suburbs think an indie coffee shop is like.
19
@17

Of course, Bailo. Of course.
20
@16, I have tried salted caramel chocolate and I still don't get it. I'll let those who like it buy it.
21
Stumptown is now corporate owned. Recently bought by some big beverage conglomerate. And real poverty means not being able to afford chocolate bars or cafes in general.
22
buying organic is really important. read up on the child slavery. do not buy any chocolate with roots in the Ivory Coast. It is hands-down the worst for slavery and abuse.
23
Theo Jane Goodall. In milk or dark chocolate.
24
It has to be the right salt. Most salted chocolate properly uses sea salt, whose additional flavor compounds are the key. They aren't using Morton's or some kind of kosher salt on these chocolates.

That said, "artisan" chocolate is quickly becoming the same kind of overpriced, overproduced fad that craft beer became. Too many second rate producers flooding the market with too-expensive product that doesn't stand out in any way.

Theo is good, but you guys are just up the road from Portland, where Moonstruck chocolate is made. Now, THERE is a chocolatier whose product is worth the price.
25
@24: Moonstruck chocolate is irredeemably dull, a perfect illustration of precisely what you deride in your second paragraph.

The hands-down best chocolate I've had from Portland is an upstart by the name of Woodblock: http://www.woodblockchocolate.com/