Parker: A Dumb Movie About a Smart Character

Comments

1
Why, oh why, didn't they base this on Darwyn Cooke's fabulous graphic novels???????
2
Jason Statham gives me a boner.
3
I see a lot of words here but none of them tell me how often he takes his shirt/pants off.
4
Ah crap, yet another Donald Westlake book/series the movies screwed up.

Elmore Leonard isn't the better writer, but he's had better luck with films faithful to his style and plots (often best when they're line for line in the script.)

5
The missus and I saw trailers for Gangster Squad and Parker in close proximity and were immediately angry that Josh Brolin hadn't been tapped for it. I don't know if I can handle Statham as Parker. His face isn't "a chipped chunk of concrete" and he doesn't have hands that look like they were sculpted by someone "who thought big and liked veins."

And fight scenes, to me, seem woefully out of place in a Parker movie. Parker doesn't get into a fight with someone, he sucker punches them real hard and they drop like a sack of potatoes.

We haven't seen this movie, but Darwyn Cooke got us hooked on the character and we've read up through Sour Lemon Score, and I don't know, I think I just might be too attached to the character to risk seeing it get fucked up.
6
Flashbacks to scenes that we saw five minutes ago with no added information is, as I've learned from my own experiences as well as podcasts like "How Did This Get Made," have become notorious signifiers of awful movies. Glad you took the bullet for us.

As for Elmore Leonard, judybrowni, I feel like his film adaptations have had a roughly 50/50 success rate, unfortunately. Always a shame to see his words mangled.