That Little Boy in Alabama Is Still Being Held Hostage: They believe he is unharmed and officials say they've been able to give him medication while being held captive.
RIP Ed Koch: The former New York mayor died early this morning. He was 88.
There Was a Suicide Bombing Near a Pakistan Mosque: At least 23 dead and 35 injured.
There Was a Suicide Bombing Outside the US Embassy in Turkey: In addition to the bomber, at least one person is dead and another is wounded.
A Truck Carrying Fireworks in China Exploded: Conflicting reports say anywhere from four to 26 people died after the explosion caused the elevated highway to collapse.
An Oil Company in Mexico City Exploded: 32 people are dead and the cause of the explosion is unknown.
In Other, Non-Super-Depressing-Exploding News: Elton, the gay dog who was abandoned for being gay, got adopted!
Good Fucking Luck, Jerk: Geraldo Rivera wants to run for Senate.
Applebee's Fired the Waitress Who Posted a Receipt on Reddit: A pastor wrote "I give God 10%, why do you get 18" on a receipt, the waitress put it on Reddit, and then the waitress got fired when the jerky pastor called and demanded the WHOLE STAFF be terminated. She sounds like a loving, caring, Godly woman.
Smart Shit Bugs!: "A species of South African dung beetle has been shown to use the Milky Way to navigate, making it the only known animal that turns to the galactic spray of stars across the night sky for direction."
OH SHUCKS: "Seafair may lose Blue Angels show to budget cuts."