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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Chinese Water Torture for Your Ears

Posted by on Tue, Feb 19, 2013 at 11:57 AM

This just in from Last Days' Hot tipper ArmadilloMeat:

Please allow me to take the horror of your public grooming stories to the next level: I was in a busy Capitol Hill salon, getting my hair done. This business has been a long-lived independent presence in the Broadway community, and given your popularity one would think that the world had been appropriately shamed into NOT CLIPPING YOUR GODDAM NAILS IN PUBLIC. But no: Every stylist in the house was busy save for one, who was sitting in the dryer chairs directly next to the front door clip-clip-clipping away, much to the chagrin of every customer, other stylist, and in particular the poor receptionist who looked like she wanted to die from a combination of repulsion and mortification.

Finally, another stylist went over and told her to stop. My point, though, being: who are these people? Who are not only these people who don't know it's inappropriate to clip your nails in public? I know you've been off the public grooming beat for a bit, but I would urge you to pleasepleaseplease, for humanity, call this woman out. I fear the forces of darkness will prevail if you don't.

Dear ArmadilloMeat: Your wish is my command.

 

Comments (30) RSS

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1
That's bad. But I used to date a guy (charming, educated, beautiful eyes) who would FLOSS in public. WTF was I thinking?
Posted by Catastrophe on February 19, 2013 at 12:05 PM · Report this
Jaymz 2
Toenails? Agreed and yuck. Fingernails? Meh, not so much ire here...
Posted by Jaymz on February 19, 2013 at 12:06 PM · Report this
eclexia 3
Salons are space for grooming. The writer has no complaint.
Posted by eclexia on February 19, 2013 at 12:10 PM · Report this
Dougsf 4
I had a roommate once that would come join me on the couch and floss while we watched TV. It's right around that time I quietly, but aggressively, starting building my savings.
Posted by Dougsf on February 19, 2013 at 12:13 PM · Report this
christopher575 5
Salons are for hiring other people to cut your nails.
Posted by christopher575 on February 19, 2013 at 12:18 PM · Report this
6
So is it all grooming we're not supposed to do in public? Is combing hair OK? How about trimming an hangnail? Plucking an errant eyebrow hair?

Someone needs to post these rules that are apparently obvious to everyone but me.
Posted by also on February 19, 2013 at 12:25 PM · Report this
lizlemon 7
It gets even weirder/more revolting when these public-nail-clippers are riding the bus. How about if you don't brush your gross, dead body parts on me, thanks.
Posted by lizlemon on February 19, 2013 at 12:25 PM · Report this
8
Wait, so the writer was at a salon--an establishment where by definition a person does the work of clipping dead pieces of your body off for you--and yet complains about someone clipping dead pieces of their body off of themselves? I think this might fall under the "Maybe there are bigger things to whine about" file, like the post about eating french fries with a fork.
Posted by Bonzer Terriffic on February 19, 2013 at 12:38 PM · Report this
pointy 9
Americans are such fucking puritans.
Posted by pointy on February 19, 2013 at 12:41 PM · Report this
10
Hmm. Speaking as a stylist, clipping fingernails in a salon isn't exactly all that bad, considering a lot of salons have manicure stations. Maybe not so much in the front of the house, though - go to the breakroom or the color area/back area if there is no manicure station. Toenails on the other hand - if you aren't getting a pedicure, you need to keep your feet in your shoes. Ew.
Posted by Greycat on February 19, 2013 at 12:42 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 11
Geezus, you'd think she shit on your apple pie! Get a grip.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on February 19, 2013 at 12:43 PM · Report this
maxk 12
I love how hair and nails are beautiful and clean when they are attached to a person, but the second they fall off or are cut off they become the most disgusting refuse. People, please lost your weird hangups and let me clip in peace.
Posted by maxk on February 19, 2013 at 12:45 PM · Report this
13
The only valid reason not to clip your nails in public is to avoid voodoo curses.
Posted by jzimbert on February 19, 2013 at 12:47 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 14
Americans are slobs
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 19, 2013 at 1:08 PM · Report this
reverend dr dj riz 15
..@14..hear hear..didn't your parents teach you that bathrooms are for grooming people ? they're equipped with running water, sinks , mirrors trash receptacles and such because nobody wants your nasty ass hair and hoof clippings flying about . i saw a dude last week at a fairly reputable bar wearing flip flops digging between his toes and rubbing his thumb and forefingers together and flicking whaeves onto the floor.
Posted by reverend dr dj riz on February 19, 2013 at 1:21 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 16
If it's one of those clippers that catches the fingernail clippings, I fail to see what the problem is. I have one of those, and, as long as I empty it out into the garbage once in a while, I drop no clippings on the floor.

That said, as I'm fully aware of how unreasonable people are about such things, I only clip my nails in the bathroom, and, if in a public bathroom, only in a dire emergency (like I broke a nail and need to clip off the jagged edge).
Posted by keshmeshi on February 19, 2013 at 1:33 PM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 17
@6: You really don't need rules, just determining what would be distracting and annoying should be your guide. A quick touch up of your hair in public is perfectly fine.

I would like to add that putting on lipstick or lip gloss in public borders on being annoying.
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on February 19, 2013 at 1:41 PM · Report this
julie russell 18
I guess the hubs and I are just gross. We floss on the couch all the time...if feeling extra gross I try to make him smell my floss when I'm done
Posted by julie russell http:// on February 19, 2013 at 2:17 PM · Report this
treacle 19
@17 - Lip gloss in public is out? Really? See, I'm with @6, these rules are largely arbitrary and culturally defined. "Distracting" and "annoying" are highly subjective definitions.

With nails, sure: If bits are going to be flying, then go do that by your lonesome somewhere else (try the garden or backyard, where your dead keratin can be composted by the wee lawn beasties). But otherwise, why care so much? Why exactly are nails "nasty" or "gross"? They aren't serious sources of pathogens, are they? Doorknobs & sponges are far grosser, microbially speaking, but most everyone seems to conveniently forget that. People get squicked by toilet seats (which are a vector for nothing) and use those inane "seat covers", and then let shit-eating dogs lick their faces.

It's culturally arbitrary.
Posted by treacle on February 19, 2013 at 2:25 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 20
@19,
Exactly.

I had my own sponge for washing the dishes I bring to work until someone stole it (who steals a fucking sponge anyway??) and I had to use the "company sponge." I'm sure it was fine, but just the thought that some of my more filthy coworkers had used it made me feel like I was playing with someone's turd.

I used the hell out of the antibacterial wash after I was done.

And dogs... don't get me started. They walk and roll around in their own and other dogs' piss and shit and then their owners let them crawl all over them. Gah!
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 19, 2013 at 3:17 PM · Report this
21
Another public place sure, but a SALON? Most of them offer manicures and pedicures anyway. I also don't get the lip gloss annoyance thing from 17. What about chapstick, am I allowed that at least?
Posted by Ashley on February 19, 2013 at 5:10 PM · Report this
SPG 22
Corner of Broadway and Pine on a nice spring day a few years back... While waiting for the light to change, I notice a group of three people who had just walked up Pine and from the looks of them may have walked all the way up from downtown. A member of said group pulls out a stick of deodorant and applies it. Ok, ew a little, but the friend says something I couldn't hear and they just hand over the deodorant and their friend then uses it too! EWWWWWWW!!!
Posted by SPG on February 19, 2013 at 5:51 PM · Report this
mr. herriman 23
there is no worse sound. i can barely even be in the same house when someone's clipping their nails, even behind a closed bathroom door. i can still hear it for hours after it stops.
Posted by mr. herriman on February 19, 2013 at 5:57 PM · Report this
24
You're in a salon, where you're already breathing in the dandruff and hair of all the customers around you. Nails are not a problem.
Posted by nifty on February 19, 2013 at 7:12 PM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 25
@21: That's why I said "borders" - depends on setting. At a table in a fine restaurant taking out the compact and all - kind of irksome, don't you think?
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on February 19, 2013 at 8:00 PM · Report this
26
Wow a lot of you are fucking weird about the human body. Don't you all have one?
Posted by Vitriolforbreakfast on February 19, 2013 at 8:38 PM · Report this
zivilisierter Wurm 27
Jesus, Americans are sterilized, atomized, anti-biotic fed swine being led through the slaughterhouse. Except instead of a bolt gun, it takes a life-time to kill us, and we're somehow proud of this privilege. Ever been out in the woods for more than a day? You get dirty. You stink like BO. Exposure to the human body, with its pain and smells are a fact of life. This quest to excise ourselves from that is why we're all so existentially fucked.
Posted by zivilisierter Wurm http://peregrinari.tumblr.com/ on February 19, 2013 at 10:03 PM · Report this
mr. herriman 28
I can handle all kinds of disgusting stuff, human or otherwise. My grossout threshold is through the roof. But THAT SOUND.
Posted by mr. herriman on February 19, 2013 at 10:10 PM · Report this
29
Oh my goodness, no one has mentioned the teen-aged female who gets out her hairbrush on the subway car ... as soon as she sees a male who might be impressed by her dandruff and stuff.
Posted by gorley on February 20, 2013 at 6:15 AM · Report this
30
People are weird. Would I floss in the middle of a restaurant? No. Would it be reasonable to clip my nails in a salon? Of course. Calm the hell down. And no. Nothing is wrong with using lip gloss anywhere in public, compact or no.
Posted by J from Oregon on February 20, 2013 at 11:35 AM · Report this

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