So a few days ago I overheard a guy on the bus quizzing another guy about the various places he can and cannot drink thirst-quenching malt beverages:

"What about when someone else is driving? Like in the back seat?"
"No."
"On the sidewalk? Just minding my own business on my own two legs?"
"Yeah, that's legal."
"Yeah, but legs are pretty fucking slow."
"They are slow."
"What about on this bus?"
"I don't think so."
"What about if I was driving a bike around? Is that legal?"
"Probably not."
"Okay okay okay: What if someone else was driving a bike around and it had one of those kiddie bumper cars attached to the back of it? What if I was drinking in the kiddie bumper car, is that legal?"
"I don't know. I never tried it."
"I just really want a friggin' drink, you know? I'm just really thirsty."

I realized that I didn't know the law around drinking in children's vehicles either, so I couldn't chime in with any helpful advice. Therefore, this calls for a legally-binding thirst poll.