Bleeding Cool caught "real" life "superhero" Phoenix Jones's announcement that he's going international. And here it is, in Jones's typical ALL CAPS:

I WILL BE STARTING A UK DIVISION OF THE RCSM [Rain City Superhero Movement, Phoenix's little local fake superhero club] LEAD BY RED FALCON. HE IS A GOOD STRONG LEADER AND WILL REPRESENT THE TEAM WELL. I HAVE ALSO EQUIPPED HIM WITH THE LATEST LEGAL CRIME FIGHTING GEAR AS WELL AS BULLET AND STAB RESISTANT PLATING.

COUNT ZERO WILL BE HEADING UP MY ARIZONA DIVISION. MIDNIGHT JACK AND I PERSONALLY TRAINED HIM AND HE IS VERY TALENTED AND KNOWLEDGEABLE.

PUMA WILL BE HEADING UP MY DUBAI DIVISION. HIS ROLE AND PLANS MUST BE KEPT CLOSE TO THE VEST CONSIDERING THE LAWS IN DUBAI ARE VERY DIFFERENT.

I AM TRYING TO TALK HARBINGER INTO RUNNING MY CALIFORNIA DIVISION. WE HAVE TEAMS BEING SET UP IN SOUTH AFRICA, AUSTRALIA, AND NEW ZEALAND. I WILL KEEP YOU POSTED.

If you're reading Slog in a city that is not Seattle, you should be warned: Idiocy is on the march! And also: Please know that we are so, so sorry about this.