Long time/first time. I am a straight identified man and have been married for about ten years. Recently my wife and I have been spicing things up in the bedroom. One of the things we have tried, and liked, was her pegging me. We follow your advice, we take our time, we use tons of lube. It feels amazing but whenever she pegs me I go limp. Is this normal? Are we doing something wrong? I really enjoy it but never seem to get fully hard. Afterwards, when I am taking care of her, I get hard again and am able to finish. I get erections before and after just not during. I wish I was able to get hard and come while she is pegging me. That seems like it would be a lot of fun. Do you think it is possible?
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My response—and a bonus letter—after the jump...
Is it possible for a guy to get hard while someone plows his ass—whether that guy is being fucked with a dick or pegged with a strap-on dildo—and stay hard and blow his load? Yes, it's possible. There's tons of porn out there, gay and straight, pegging and fucking, that proves it's more than possible.
But getting hard and staying hard and coming isn't possible for every new bottom right away, LIMP. The experience of getting fucked in the ass the first time—the first few dozen times—can be so intense that it literally overwhelms a guy and his dick. That goes double for you straight guys. But once you get used to the feeling of being penetrated, LIMP, once you find your groove as a bottom, your dick should kick back into gear.
And another letter about pegging...
This is the first time I've ever written to you, and it's just to say thank you!
In your April 3rd 2013 column, you talked briefly about "pegger's remorse" and that put a term to something that I had been feeling for about two years. My ex asked me to peg him a couple of months before the end of our relationship. At first I wanted to be nice about fulfilling a fantasy of his, even if it was only moderately arousing for me. However it quickly got to be All About The Pegging. He would bring it up all the time when we were having sex. He no longer really cared if I got my share of the pleasure or not. He wouldn't 69 or play with my vagina or nothing. He would just take it and then fall asleep right after. I brought up the issue and he said that it was because he never had to courage to explore that fantasy with other girls. Later, after a long process, I realized that selfishness was a big character trait in him generally, not just sexually, and I broke up with him. I still feel that pegging him—with a reproduction of his own dick no less!—was a big mistake on my part. We never should have taken that road. Even now, about a year and a half after the break-up, while talking to my friends about it, I noticed that I was still feeling awkward about this activity, and wondered if I wasn't as GGG as I hoped.
So basically, I just wanted to say thank you, cause now that I know that there is a term for the regret a sexual partner can feel after pegging someone for the first time. It means that I'm not the only one who felt that way and that somehow makes it better. It's going to take a while before I feel like engaging in that activity with someone new, but I know that I still a pretty awesome chick to have sex with!