Remember back in January, when I was wondering this exact same goddam question????

At the time, the city's response was that the playground had been held up because the Seattle Center decided to sell trinkets on the original site for the playground. But, the mayor's office added, the Seattle Center was totally on top of their shit—they were busy scouting out new playground locations—and they'd be hopefully formalizing a playground committee with Chihuly Garden and Glass by April.

Or as Seattle Center director Robert Nellams told the Puget Sound Business Journal in February:

“The delay, if you can call it a delay, was something that we asked for because we were doing a little something called our 50th anniversary out in the plaza,” he said.

The Seattle Center and the Chihuly Garden and Glass Exhibit will jointly create a committee—likely by early spring—to move forward on the playground, he said.

The Center is also still working on finding a permanent space and exhibit for local Northwest artists to show their work.

Nothing like a bunch of pesky kids to fuck up the 50th anniversary of a food court!

I just double checked the Seattle Center's website and found no information on the "Artists at Play" committee that the Seattle Center and Chihuly folks were supposed to convene. I have calls/emails in to the mayor's office and the Seattle Center but as far as I can tell, there is still no goddamn timeline for getting a million-dollar playground built for the kids—the playground that the public was promised in exchange for basically giving away public land to the Space Needle to built their private pet Chihuly project on.

But hey, a guy tried to sell me a time-share condo while I walking through the Seattle Center Armory today—perhaps the Center has failed to make headway on this playground situation because they're now too busy pimping out public space to timeshare condo salesmen?

The Chihuly museum has been open for a year and one week now. Here's my promise to you, Seattle: If, by this time next year, we don't have some motherfucking movement on this playground, I'm going to march down to Seattle Center myself, tack a slide to a dumpster, sprinkle some glass around it, and christen that motherfucker The Chihuly Playground of Broken Dreams.

UPDATE: Seattle Center spokeswoman Deborah Daoust responds, "early planning work has begun on this new project. In early May, a partnership of Center Art LLC, Seattle Center and Seattle Center Foundation convened a 9-member advisory group to help develop a project scope and artist/designer selection guidelines for an artful play space to be located on the former North Fun Forest site at Seattle Center. The committee has met twice. Guidelines will be prepared this summer for an art call or design RFP, design work will begin this fall and construction is targeted for the first half of 2014. Private funding for the project will be provided by Center Art LLC, as a provision of their lease for the Chihuly Garden and Glass museum."

I've asked Daoust for a list of who's on this nine-member panel, and I'm curious why the process hasn't been made more public (we basically get press releases every time someone takes a shit over there). But then again, maybe I'm just butthurt that they didn't pick me and Goldy (sob).