Chavez 2.0: Ecuador is offering the United States $23 million in human rights trainings "to avoid violations of privacy, torture and other actions that are denigrating to humanity," in response to threats from the Obama administration over possibly granting asylum to Edward Snowden. Hah.
General Suspected of Leaking Iran "Stuxnet" Cyber-Weapon: The former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff is suspected of leaking the program to the New York Times, and could wind up in a cell next to Bradley Manning, since justice is blind. Wait no. That's unlikely.
What's Obama Doing in Africa? Mother Jones raises some serious questions about land grabs and agribusiness.
Motherfucking Non-Native Rattlesnakes: A two-foot-long western rattlesnake, normally found on the other side of the state, was apprehended in Fremont while "sunning itself on a rock wall."
Tully's Hollywood Takeover: Patrick Dempsey, the star of an obscure show about "grey anatomy"—do I have that right?—is buying out the local Starbucks wannabe.
Don't Ever Change, Bankers: New legal documents show that Bank of America "seeks to pocket quick cash and evade practices set forth in major settlements – by cashing out of the subprime mortgage servicing business."
Law Firm Will Sue United Nations Over Cholera in Haiti: The disease, literally shat into a major river by UN peacekeeping troops in 2010, continues to wreak havoc. A tiny law firm is about to file a precedent-setting lawsuit to force it to take responsibility. (Also, I pour my heart out over the travails of my Haitian friends.)
I was going to post M.I.A.'s new music video, but on second thought, I'll share this side of Haiti you probably haven't seen. Enjoy: