You can keep your surviving Beatles and history-making proto-punks*—tonight I will be nowhere but Cal Anderson Park for Three Dollar Bill Cinema's free screening of John Waters' Hairspray, the 1988 original, and one of the most perfect American comedies ever made.

Movie starts at dusk, and if you require more original-recipe Hairspray hype, please enjoy the original "Shake a Tail Feather" by the Five Du-Tones.

* Full disclosure: I bought a ticket for tonight's Black Flag show as soon as they went on sale, not sure if I'd actually be able to use it but figuring each and every American owes Greg Ginn at least $30. Also, I saw Paul McCartney play in 1990, when I was in the middle of my most intense love affair with the Beatles, and it was glorious. All those crowd-pleasing tendencies that made me think less of him than Lennon paid off in full, as he happily played pretty much every song I wanted to hear (except "I've Just Seen a Face.")