The Monday Morning News


Vladimir "Man on Horse/Fish/Bear/Shark" Putin
Why, that pike doesn't look like a prick at all. No, sir.
Goldy, you should get that mosquito bite looked at by a doctor. Your family doesn't need you to have another heart attack.
It better be a lady fish.
Does President Putin like fishsticks?
When a gay person can choose a husband and have a happy family, that is in direct competition with recruitment. The Catholic church could once shame gay men into the priesthood. A tactic used with great success. When gay men started saying "No way! I have a right to be happy!" The Church saw a decline in priests. Now they've realized they need a new tactic. The only thing that ever concerns the church is it's survival and the money. Clearly, this is a win-win strategy shift.
What if a person is gay and has good will but doesn't seek God? Or what if they seek multiple gods? Or was God inside us all along? IT WAS INSIDE US ALL ALONG.
@7 Oh for fucks sake! It is the Pope's job to promote Catholicism. Acting all butthurt when he does is like bitching about wait-staff telling you the specials or show-security doing almost anything.

The Catholic Church is a huge fucking boat, and love them or hate them, when the tiller is turned in the right direction, it's probably worth hoping the damn thing will correct it's course.
Re. Erich Priebke: The United States has never in good faith stood by the conclusions of the Nuremberg trials. Mai Lai, Iran-Contra, Iraq "kill teams": the occasional sword is fallen on for war crimes, but investigations never follow up the chain of command - no one is implicated for the blind-eyed approval and manipulation of evidence. Why is it so egregious then when Nazis were "just following orders"?
Our nation: deteriorating economic security, 4 out of 5 US adults struggle with joblessness, near-poverty or reliance on welfare.

Our president: Barack Obama

We had a chance to make a course correction last November.
Yes the economy was doing so well under shrub,the fact is wages for working class Americans have been falling since the early seventies, and have fallen faster under Republicans than Democrats.

But the best way to raise wages is to support Unions.
I've heard that Boysen wears diapers because he's strapped to a board virtually all day. I'd hate to be the poor bastard who has to change him.
How is strapped to a board all day anything but torture?

News Flash!

Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson (Must Be) Inciting Surfer Dudes to Riot in Hunting Beach!…

Oh...if only "those people" (gnarly white guys) would learn how to control themselves!!!
@8 how... was... I... acting... butthurt?

I promise I won't make any more jokes on the internet. The internet is only for serious. Or if I do make a joke I'll use a little winky ;-)

;-) ;-) ;-)
#7, #8, #15

The Power of Christ Compels You!
Actually, the Texan bees were just upset at the miniature horses being miniature.

Everything's bigger in Texas.
Oh, and I wonder if what the pope said was illegal in Russia? It sure sounds like it to me. Would they report it?

Smoking a cigarette in front of the produce stand, Adams later expresses a wish that employers will look past her conviction a few years ago for distributing prescription painkillers, so she can get a job and have money to “buy the kids everything they need.”

“It’s pretty hard,” she said. “Once the bills are paid, we might have $10 to our name.”

Nuff said.
Usually when someone ends with "nuff said" they make a point first.
How much does it cost to deploy 1200 firefighters? How much are those 69 homes worth?

Forests need to burn, its what they do, the longer you keep them from burning the worse the fire is. Can we please start managing forests responsibly with controlled burns.
Bees in general tend to get crabby around horses; they can't stand the smell of a sweaty horse for some reason. (Ask any beekeeper.) And in Texas, a wild hive is likely to be Apis mellifera ligustica x scutellata, the Africanized Honey Bee, which is known to be way more defensive, even responding in force to minor instigation while in a swarm. (Bees are generally at their calmest and most docile while swarming.)
Pretty sure the mosquito that bit you was rabid.

Soon you'll turn into a giant Goldysquito - half-pundit, half-mosquito.
I'm quite against capital punishment, but what about providing prisoners (at least those deemed sane and serving life sentences and no chance of parole) with the means to end their own lives, safely and humanely?
No John Pike, that is not a "psychiatric injury." That is your fucking conscience calling you a terrible human being.