Dick Move, Gun Owners: Anti-gun groups called for yesterday to be "Skip Starbucks Saturday" in response to the store's relaxed gun policy. Gun owners went to Starbucks anyway, and somewhere a lone horn played this tune.

What an Alleged Asshole: A bicyclist in Bellingham allegedly shoved a 70-year-old man into the road, almost resulting in the elderly pedestrian getting hit by an SUV.

Revive Me Once, Shame on You: A man in his 50's was pulled from Lake Union early this morning. He needed CPR twice, and was taken to Harborview Medical Center in "bad shape."

Dad Killed While Riding Watercraft with Son: A father and son were riding a watercraft on the Willamette River. According to police, they crashed with another watercraft, killing the father. It was also the boy's birthday.

How Could You, Nabisco? A high school math class did a study on the amount of creme (Frosting? Stuf?) in Double Stuf Oreos. Their conclusion? The cookie only has 1.86 times the amount of creme.

Great News for Phonies: A documentary and book about J.D. Salinger claims there are five unpublished books by the author that will be released soon. Hopefully we won't follow any more Glass family vacations.

Transgender Woman's Death Now Investigated as a Hate Crime: While walking through Harlem last Saturday, 21-year-old Islan Nettles was brutally attacked, dying from her injuries later later in the week. Witnesses originally told NYPD that her attackers didn't shout any homophobic remarks. Now witnesses are saying attackers did yell homophobic remarks at Nettles.

Syria Allows Investigations: U.N. inspectors will now be allowed to look at locations of suspected chemical weapon attacks in Damascus, according to Syrian state television. The U.N. will start investigations Monday.

But Who Needs U.N. Investigations? According to a US senior administration official, there is "very little doubt" that Bashar al-Assad's government used chemical weapons against Syrian civilians.

Suspects Arrested in Mumbai Gang Rape: All five men wanted in the gang rape of a 22-year-old photo journalist last Thursday have been arrested. "Rape is not the end of life. I want the strictest punishment for all the accused," said the photo journalist.

God Forbid He Cross Streams with Anyone: Huang Jianjun was arrested in China earlier this month for allegedly trying to have sex with a woman by telling her his penis could get rid of the evil spirits in her vagina. Later, Jianjun allegedly told authorities that he couldn't even have sex, because his diabetes prevents him from getting an erection.

This robber is not off to a good start.