West Seattle Man Gets Cross(Bow): A 47-year-old man was arrested at a West Seattle shopping center yesterday after wandering around with a loaded crossbow, according to police.

Luck of The Irish: Kent resident Jeramie Kendall narrowly avoided death when a car crashed through his apartment. Kendall—who has shamrock tattoos on his hands, and was wearing a shamrock emblazoned hat at the time—said, "Probably about a foot to the right and they would have taken me out."

Nicklesville Moves: West Seattle Blog took some pictures as the residents moved to one of three new locations: two in Central District, and one in Skyway. According to West Seattle Blog, the city will allow residents access to Nicklesville through Wednesday.

A Bad Summer for Spying: The New York Times reports that for at least six years DEA agents and law enforcement officials have had access to a huge AT&T database. The database—titled The Hemisphere Project—contains records of more or less every American phone call that's passed through AT&T switches since 1987.

Convicted Killer Found Stockpiling Guns: Richard Schmidt was being investigated by federal agents for selling knockoff NFL jerseys when agents claim they found Schmidt's stash of guns, accompanied by 40,000 rounds of ammunition. Oh did I mention Schmidt is a convicted killer? Because he's a convicted killer. Schmidt's attorney said Schimidt is a "survivalist" gearing up for an apocalyptic event, and that "He had no intent to cause anyone harm."

Well Shit: After an intelligence briefing on Syria yesterday afternoon, Congress appears to be "evenly divided" on whether to give Obama approval to strike Syria, according to California Representative Janice Hahn.

Meanwhile... Syria asked United Nations to prevent "any aggression" from the United States.

Excuse Me While I Cry: Animation legend Hayao Miyazaki—who won an Oscar for "Spirited Away"— announced that his next film "The Wind Rises" will be his last.

They Carry Babies, Not Secrets: Egyptian authorities captured and jailed a stork after a citizen saw an electronic device on the bird's wing, and suspected the stork was a spy. A veterinary committee figured out that the mystery equipment was not a spying device, but a French wildlife tracker. The bird remains in custody.

It's been fun, Morning News.