TSA announced this month that they're expanding their "PreCheck" pre-screening system—through which you can, for $85, get fingerprinted and verified as a non-terrorist, and then get to keep your shoes on in the airport screening line—to 60 new airports by the end of the year.

Comedian Hari Kondabolu offers an idea in response:

"If you saw me looking agitated and were worried I wanted the plane to go down, it's because I did. Not because I'm a terrorist. It's because I was going to Kalamazoo, Michigan."