YOU GUYS I AM SO HAPPY. Hockey season is just days away! And there's no threat of a lockout this year, so the season will start on time. YES! With this great news, nothing else matters today so I'm skipping the usual morning news and making today's installment ALL ABOUT HOCKEY. You won't mind, right? Something's happening in Kenya and there was an earthquake in Pakistan, but HOCKEY! Let's begin!

The NHL Has a New Rule: This year players could get a two minute penalty if they remove their helmets before fighting. Some guys have already found a loophole, though. Everything's cool if they remove each other's helmets before fighting.

John Tortorella, the New Coach of the Vancouver Canucks Also Has a Rule: No Tweeting. That's a bummer for everyone who's loved following Strombone.

Just Friends: Sean Avery is NOT engaged to Bravo's Andy Cohen. (I know Avery isn't in the NHL anymore, but this news was too funny/weird to not include.)

No One Likes a Bragger, Patrick Kane: Last week Blackhawks jerk star Patrick Kane posted this video, showing off his crazy footwork and puck handling. His teammate Brandon Bollig posted this response, showing off some skills of his own.

Tim Thomas Is Back: The former Boston Bruins goaltender (who won a Stanley Cup and who is not an Obama fan) is returning to the NHL after taking a year off (assuming he can get a contract). He's currently trying out with the Panthers.

Neat: Someone on Reddit got bored and created a Seattle hockey team.

It's Only the Pre-Season, But...: The Vancouver Canucks are already being jaw-breaking jerks. BREAKING NEWS. (By the way, if you want to see a gnarly photo of said broken jaw, it is here.)

In Case You Missed It: Shit got pretty intense at a recent Sabres/Leafs pre-season game. Even the goalies threw punches!

Let's talk hockey! What are you excited about? What do you think of the new helmet rule? When is Patrick Kane going to GO AWAY?