Useful Tool or Shiny New Profiling Toy? A new, free sex trafficking phone app is debuting today that encourages people to "report their suspicions" about shady people and situations that may involve victims of sex trafficking. The app also allows residents to "upload photos and GPS locations, and provide information on a business, vehicle or person—whether that person is a suspected prostitute, pimp or buyer," reports the Seattle Times. "Officers will be able to search and review individual reports and view a map of all reported incidents in an area."

Raising the Bar: You must now be 21 or older, and have $11 to burn, in order to buy cigarettes in New York City.

Good Work, Fun Police: Washington state takes steps to ban smoking marijuana in bars.

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Painting the Town Red: The Red Sox win the World Series on their home turf and the people rejoice.

Pitbull Stabbed at Auburn Dog Park: Everything about this story is appalling.

Fish From Mars: Caught in Elliot Bay. (It wasn't really from Mars.)

Taking Their Guns: "The police chief in Sanford, Fla., the city made famous by the confrontation between George Zimmerman and an unarmed teenager, is moving to disarm neighborhood watch volunteers, ban them from pursuing suspects and conduct background checks as part of a major overhaul of the program," reports the LATimes. In other news, George Zimmerman's soon-to-be ex-wife claims that he nailed a bullet-ridden target nailed to the wall as a "subliminal message" when she kicked him out of her house.

Funeral Selfies: A trend signaling that the Apocalypse is nigh or proof of young people's humanity?

Less Is More: A male rowing club stripped down and wrestled around for their annual calendar to raise money for an anti-bullying, anti-homophobia charity. (The only "news" here is how many times I swallowed my tongue while looking at their merch.)

Horse Shit: Yesterday, Everett police arrested three bikini baristas from the stand "Hillbilly Hotties" because they claim the women were violating Everett's cabaret ordinance. "The cut and dried version is women showing body parts,” Officer Aaron Snell told KIROTV. “They were performing not sex itself, but just performing actions and activities which are unacceptable within the community." Women showing body parts, you say? The horror!

The Original Ghost Hunters: The first photographs of ghosts featured dead civil war soldiers photo bombing portraits of their still-living loved ones and dead Abraham Lincoln caressing the arms of Mary Todd.

Trunk or Treat: Nothing says, "I don't trust my neighbors" like sending your kids around to beg for candy from the trunks of people's cars. That said, four percent of the candy consumed in the US will be gobbled up today, trunk flavor be damned.