After the Typhoon: Its freight-train winds and unusual surge pattern hit just four weeks after an earthquake, and it's being termed one of the worst disasters in the country's history. The poorest areas (surprise) were hit hardest. Aid is being snapped up too quickly to be distributed. There's looting.

Kenya to Somalis: Hey, um, maybe you wanna go? Voluntary repatriation for people who don't want to leave after the mall shooting raises fears.

Chinese Environmentalist: Facing prison for publishing books. The Chinese government just feels that e-books would have been more environmentally friendly, so...yeah, no.

Iran Signs Nuclear Agreement: Allowing UN monitors increased access, seen as a first step and a way for political talks to continue.

Veterans, Start Your Engines: If you are a veteran, you should pay for ZERO today. Eat absolutely everywhere, get your car washed, have a manicure, go to a museum, do some yoga. Here's to you! 80 local freebies.

The Assumption That All Veterans Have PTSD Isn't Helping Them: "What You Think You Know About Veterans Is Probably Wrong."

I Would Simply Like to Point Out That Testicles Are Not the Same Thing as Scrotum: When an artist nails his scrotum to cobblestones in Moscow in one reference and nails his testicles to cobblestones in Moscow in another reference, the question is not whether this is art, the question is does he nail his testicles or does he nail his scrotum?

Speaking of Balls: This piece on what it means to be a man in the face of the Dolphins' tough-guy crap is great. "I am here to start a fight, because I'm a man and that's how I solve problems," it begins. It continues, "I love football — it's so much fun, it's beautiful, it's thrilling, it's an excuse to drunk-tweet in the mid-afternoon — but it has also become the major theater of American masculine crackup. It's as if we're a nation of gentle accountants and customer-service reps who've retained this one venue where we can air-guitar the berserk discourse of a warrior race."

"France has committed the unforgivable sin of being fiscally responsible without inflicting pain on the poor and unlucky.": "And it must be punished."

The Sabbath Is for Amazon: This holiday season, Amazon's worked out a deal with the postal service to deliver its packages on Sundays, but only in New York and LA. I would like the postal service also to open on Sundays just for packages marked "Mom," "Dad," "My Sister," "Grandpa," et cetera. It's hard living and sending far away.

This Is What Happens When Things Come Back from Space: They burn up, man. Even if they are made of Ferrari-like sleekness. This is how danger things work. You take on a danger thing, you may die. Not crying for you. Stay home if you don't want to burn up in outer space. Or just keep it simple and nail your scrotum and/or testicles to a cobblestone.

Don't Eat the Mexicali: Trader Joe's salads recalled because of e coli.

It Began with Christopher Tweeting His Ear Picture: Personal health info sharing by media persons.

Washington County in Colorado Has Voted to Secede: Because limits on ammunition and gay marriage are dealbreakers.

The name for baby turkey is poult. Pop quiz: What is the name for baby skunk? Baby swan? Baby gorilla? Baby kangaroo? You have your work cut out for you.