A thousand dolphins have shown up dead along the Eastern Seaboard between New York and Florida this year, the New York Times reports—eight times the historical average. What's killing them is a mystery but seems to have something to do with the "health" of the oil-spilled, polluted, plasticked waters we humans are keeping.

I don't care that this is a signal for humans, too.

I care about DOLPHINS. Here is the story of my 2009 dolphin conversion experience.

^{To be clear, the reason I do not care that this is a signal for humans is that this is OUR FAULT.}