Early in Grudge Match, two rival retired boxers (the blue-collar everyman is played by Sylvester Stallone, and the flashy showoff is played by Robert De Niro) get thrown in jail after fighting in public. They’re put in adjacent holding tanks, and De Niro starts heckling Stallone by repeatedly calling him a “super-pussy.” Stallone looks at the other guys in De Niro’s holding tank and says, “Could one of you fellas hurry up and rape this guy already?”

That’s really all you need to know about Grudge Match. It’s lowest-common-denominator garbage that doesn’t even earn the dubious ranking of the funniest I’m-too-old-for-this-shit comedy starring Robert De Niro to be released this year. (Even last month’s aggressively dull Last Vegas was better than this.) Eventually, the two boxers agree to fight in a high-profile boxing match, and they spend most of the movie training for the bout. Queasy-making and insensitive jokes about race, child rape, and gay panic clunk around the script.

Along the way, we find out why these two boxers hate each other so much. Turns out, a woman got in between them, thirty years ago. She’s played by Kim Basinger, and the scenes where she and Stallone appear in tight close-up together should be used to warn people off of excessive Botox use. It’s like watching two bean bags trying to seduce each other.

There are a few obvious callbacks to Raging Bull and Rocky, just to remind you how far our two leads have fallen. (De Niro’s roles in David O. Russell’s two most recent movies have proven that he still knows how to act; somehow that makes his sleepy turns in generic shit movies like Grudge Match seem even more egregious.) Alan Arkin demeans himself with a role as Stallone’s elderly trainer. His character is so frail that he calls himself an “infant baby,” which I found to be kind of funny. Turns out, that was the biggest laugh in this whole fucking movie.