Hello there! I couldn’t help but notice that it looks like you’re writing a blog post responding to people who called you racist. Would you like help? Are you sure? Really? I’m pretty sure you need help. A whole lot of white folks this year tried to argue with charges of racism, and exactly zero of them succeeded. I’m talking about people like cartoonist Ted Rall, UK politician John Mac Canna, reality star Brandi Glanville, and even Paula Deen.

Are you really, really sure you don’t want my help?

Look, let me just give you a couple of pointers, okay?

1. Don’t tell us you’re not racist. Racism isn’t an either-or proposition. It’s complicated. Racism isn’t always intentional. Racism is not always active. Racism can be about perception, and someone else’s perception is out of your control. It’s not a simple yes or no, and immediately denying your own racism throws your entire argument into doubt.

2. For the love of Christ, using the “some of my best friends/coworkers are black” argument is a terrible decision. Guess what? Arguing that nobody of a certain race should be offended because you know one or two members of a certain race who aren’t offended? That’s racist.

3. It’s better to start a conversation than to make a statement.

I know this isn’t an easy thing to hear, and I know that nuanced discussions about race don’t make white people comfortable. This isn’t easy. I know a thing or two about fraught depictions of race: I’m an anthropomorphized Afro pick, for God’s sake! Just keep in mind as you write this thing: There’s no one right answer, and we’re all making it up as we go along. Everybody makes mistakes. And most importantly, being humble doesn’t cost anything, and it often gets great results. Good luck, honky!