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Yahoo News:

It’s at events like this gathering before the March for Life, which marked the 41st anniversary of Roe v. Wade, that Santorum is conducting a presidential campaign in waiting. There were banners, aides, supporters, a stump speech—a whole campaign-style apparatus organized by Patriot Voices, a conservative advocacy group the former Republican presidential hopeful founded after ceding the field to Mitt Romney in April 2012.... "I am certainly very open" to running for president in 2016, Santorum told a supporter before the march. "The fact is, we have a good track record of success and we think we have something to say that’s different than others."

You gotta give this to Rick Santorum: he was way ahead of the curve on an issue that's now at the top of the GOP agenda. You see, Rick Santorum was trying to knock the birth control pills out of your slutty mouths, ladies, long before it was cool. Here's what Rick had to say in 2011:

"One of the things I will talk about that no president has talked about before is I think the dangers of contraception in this country, the whole sexual libertine idea... Many in the Christian faith have said, 'Well, that's okay... contraception's okay.' It's not okay because it's a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be. [Sexual relations] supposed to be within marriage, for purposes that are, yes, conjugal... but also procreative. That's the perfect way that a sexual union should happen."

Republicans like to say that the federal government can't do anything right. The feds couldn't even run a simple website, right? But a President Rick Santorum* plans to run—and perfect!—the sexual unions of 313,000,000 Americans. Because federal regulations aren't for fertilizer plants or chemical companies. They're for sexual realms and sexual libertines. (Psst! Reporters! Rick Santorum still has a Google problem!)

* Rick Santorum is a joke, I realize. My readers helped to make him one. But Ronald Reagan was a joke in 1965 when Tom Leher recorded "George Murphy." If we don't want the joke to be on us, we had better pay attention to—and continue to heap mockery upon—the joke that is Rick Santorum.