Via Jezebel, a video that is making Stranger headquarters melt into a pile of awed laughter: Russian figure-skating darling Evgeni Plushenko in a routine that, apparently, will not be performed at the Olympics because for some stupid reason they don't allow you to strip down to gold underpants and/or kiss the judges. (Whyyyy??!!) Oh, yeah, and also, someone switched out his original soundtrack—Tom Jones's "Sex Bomb"—for '90s slow jam "Pony," by Ginuwine.*

Enjoy!

I CANNOT GET OVER IT. Someone tell me if at 2:15 he loses his penis? What is that move? Apparently this man will be skating onto your televisions—and into your hearts!—later in the week.

*The Jezebel post astutely notes that "ironically enough, the only thing made worse by the addition of a 'Pony' soundtrack is actual sex." Real talk.