Originally posted on June 25, 2009.

Hello! I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year and a half. It is amazing! We are both very GGG, and it is by far the best sexual relationship I have ever had. But there is one thing that has been bugging me, and it's the only thing I feel like I can't share with him. My boyfriend really enjoys tossing my salad. I enjoy it! We love it! Here's the problem: He kisses me when he is done.

Now I am not one of these people who is grossed out about sex-related things. I love it messy and sloppy. If he kisses me after eating my pussy, I'm fine with that. But kissing me after he eats my ass? I hate it! It tastes awful! It ruins the rest of the sex for me! I've heard the old "Well, imagine what it tastes like for him" adage, but he really does enjoy it, and I do, too... just not the kissing after. I'm not sure what to do about this. I am afraid that telling him would offend him and that he will stop doing it. (I do like having my salad tossed!) Am I being selfish? Should I tell him? Suck it up?

Bad Taste In My Mouth

My response after the jump...

One never permits one's boyfriend—or one's youth pastor or one's president—to place his tongue in one's butt if it isn't clean and fresh. Because when one allows one's boyfriend to stick his tongue in one's butt, BTIMM, one is vouching for the edibility of one's ass. When one consents to having one's salad tossed—are people referring to anilingus in that way again?—one is saying to one's partner, "My ass is clean enough for your mouth. Have at it."

It is entirely reasonable for one's boyfriend—or one's youth pastor or one's president—to assume that if one's butt is clean enough to receive his tongue, his tongue is clean enough, post-salad-tossing, to be received in the mouth of the person whose salad he has just tossed.

So are you are being selfish? Perhaps you are. But we are, each of us, allowed a hang-up or two. You should inform the boyfriend that you're not into kissing after anal-oral contact. But you must present this news to him as your problem, not his, as a hang-up of yours. If he likes you well enough, and enjoys eating your ass as much as he seems to, he may be willing to take a few extra steps—mouthwash on the nightstand? A quick swipe with a warm washcloth?—to accommodate your squeamishness.