Obama's Budget: It doesn't sacrifice Social Security in an attempt to appease Republicans. Republicans, predictably, are upset.

That's Why She's "Dear" Dear Abby patiently explained to a bigoted homophobic couple exactly why they're bigoted and homophobic.

Last Night a DJ Complained About IKEA Until I Died: Record collectors are very upset that IKEA is discontinuing its Expedit shelving system, which is generally regarded as the best for storing records.

Tesla's Doing Well: Electric car manufacturer Tesla shares some big dreams in a letter to shareholders. Also, Elon Musk hinted that Apple talked about buying Tesla recently, but he says that's "very unlikely" to happen.

Depressed? Maybe it's because your cat bit you:

After combing through the health records of 1.3 million people over 10 years, researchers found an unusual link between cat bites and depression. More than 41 percent of those who had presented to hospitals with cat bites were also treated for depression at some point.

"Fantastic?" Let's See What the Internet Has to Say About That: The cast for the new Fantastic Four movie has been revealed, and everyone has opinions about it. Since one of the actors is black, a lot of the people who have opinions about it are idiots. Let's not publish or retweet those racist comments, okay? Leave them to their petty little anonymous lives and wait for them to disappear, the way racists always do.

Headline of the Day: "Monkey Mind-Control Holds Promise for Paraplegics"

Okay, but Why? A group of people want to publish all of Wikipedia in book form.