We might need a bigger shovel.
  • Denis and Yulia Pogostins/Shutterstock
  • We might need a bigger shovel.
I am in a rut. It’s not serious—nothing terrible has happened and it certainly isn’t as overwhelming as some crippling episodes of depression that I’ve had to face, but lately my brain is in enough of a state of constant bummerness that I’ve been finding it difficult to kick my ass into gear and get shit done. Life isn’t cooperating much, either. Over the course of one week I have: broken my toe on a tragically placed couch, spent nine hours in a repair shop after my car broke down on the freeway and left me stranded too far from home to take a cab, and spent the night on a bench in LAX after a laughably terrible day of cancelled flights and missed connections. Also, the coffee shop I’m currently in just played “Fire and Rain” and “Landslide” back-to-back, like they want me to collapse into a heap on the floor.

I can't stop thinking about Bukowski's words:

it’s not the large things that
send a man to the
madhouse. death he’s ready for, or
murder, incest, robbery, fire, flood…
no, it’s the continuing series of small tragedies
that send a man to the

But I will not stand for this anymore! I will dig myself out of this rut starting now! But I can’t do it alone. Obviously. I’m worthless right now. So I’m trying to fill by brain with some feel good anthems that can play out as the positive soundtrack for the challenge ahead. Here’s what’s working so far:

1. “Ha Ha Ha” by the Julie Ruin

2. “Cruz” by Blue Scholars

3. “Sounds Like a Pretty Brutal Murder” by Iron Chic


4. “25 Miles” by Edwin Starr


5. “Resilient Bastard” by RVIVR

If you, too, need a boost, I reached out to others to see what songs they like to listen to at moments like these and compiled a bunch of their responses into this Spotify playlist. Enjoy! And feel better soon. You’re awesome.