Read the whole new issue of The Stranger over here (or click on the cover)!

1. Did you know that although for some inscrutable reason the United States decided to bestow American citizenship upon him, CHARLES MUDEDE is originally from Africa? If you read The Stranger with any regularity, of course you know that, because Mudede never stops nattering on about it. Now Mudede has contributed a very long, entirely maddening story about Ugandan antigay laws to The Stranger. As any informed liberal would eagerly instruct you if you dared to suggest otherwise, Africa is a continent made up of many countries. To suggest otherwise brands white people as racist. Mudede is from Zimbabwe, which is a nation with completely different laws and mores than Uganda. How is he qualified to blather on about Uganda when he has never set foot in that country? On a map of Africa, locate Zimbabwe. Now locate Uganda. Notice that they're 3,291 kilometers apart by automobile, which is farther than the distance between Seattle and northern Mexico. Isn't the presumption that Mudede could be an expert on Uganda just because he's a black African more than a little bit racist?

2. In the news section, guest writers NICK HANAUER and ERIC LIU suggest that raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour would be "great for business." When do you believe we can finally go a single goddamned day without hearing about this $15-an-hour thing? Will our ears ever stop bleeding from all the shrillness?

3. Speaking of shrill: In the music section, Stranger writers BETHANY JEAN CLEMENT, PAUL CONSTANT, CHRISTOPHER FRIZZELLE, and KELLY O review an album called NVM from a local band called Tacocat. Why do three authors whose writing never appears in the music section suddenly deign to make an appearance there? Why is someone whose primary music-section responsibility is taking photographs of drunks in the street suddenly granted column inches that stretch for longer than 35 words? Because Tacocat's lead singer is one EMILY NOKES—aka The Stranger's music editor—that's why! Do you believe that The Stranger should have published this story, given the obvious, immense conflict of interest? Can you imagine how frustrated a local musician must feel, opening up The Stranger to find a bunch of buddy-wuddies praising the work of their best pal on the first page of the music section? Do you think anyone at The Stranger cares? Why, then, should you care about The Stranger?