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Tonight at Barboza, three bands will be playing their blessed, blackened songs. Nightmare Fortress, He Whose Ox is Gored, and Transmissionary. Let your audible Monday venture below Neumos. Sounds will adjust your sail’s boom to ride the wind into night. Transmissionary’s Michael Knight and Jacob James will be joined by special guest guitarist Thomas Hunter, the Spear Hunter.

I asked James to expound on the meaning of Transmissionary's song “Sarcasm’s Hard.” He replied with the following dispatch, which you can read after the jump:

"Sarcasm’s Hard", an Unprovable Math Proof in Nine Steps

1. "Sarcasm’s Hard"

First we get rid of the contraction. Like Commander Data would.

2. Sarcasm is Hard

Now let’s relieve ourselves of that pesky verb.

3. Sarcasm = Hard

This looks like a joke to us because everyone knows being sarcastic is easy. It’s like sooo totally easy. It’s heaps easier to critique than to create. And way less vulnerable. So let’s try the converse:

4. Sarcasm = Easy

Now we’ve created a discrepancy. If we plug in our new “Easy” value into the original equation, we're faced with:

5. Easy = Hard

Which doesn’t discourage us or freak us out at all because we know “Easy” and “Hard” are just “human designations” exempt from “space and time.” When the “Earth” was “created 4,000 years ago” man and woman had no concept of “easy” and “hard” until King Jesus came down with his laser beam and told all of us that we should not pay fourteen dollars to see Darren Arnofsky’s Noah.

If we believe number five, then we also have to believe:

6. Sarcasm : Hard :: Sarcasm : Easy

Okay Yoda, and Buddha, and Descartes. Okay Archimedes and Nietszche. We know two antithetical ideas cannot coexist in a vacuum or on a frictionless plane or in so many boxes with as many foxes. Maybe one of the foxes is Schroedinger’s. It matters not. Onward.

7. Sarcasm : Hard :: Genuine : Easy

I think I can feel it starting to kick in now, man. Let’s eat some oranges. Or go to the park. Time to call Timbaland, sip that sizzurp, and go get those beats we’ve been waiting on. Chop it up and reverse it:

8. Sarcasm : Easy :: Genuine : Hard

Now take me all the way home, Stephen Hawking. Peer through that looking glass:

9. Sarcasm : Sarcasm :: Easy : Hard

This is an airtight technique designed to promote a Monday night rock show.

“Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?” - Lewis Carroll

“Whose time was wasted more by this? The author’s or the readers’?” - Jacob James