The Love Kit, the Exciter, Ride the Tiger
Are you at the truck stop and in need of sensual items? Are you out on the highway and looking for a last-minute sexual gift pack? Next time try the Love Kit. Into it we go. With Climax Control Lotion
, you’ll be in control. After you slowly slather the Swedish Massage Oil
on the epidermis layer of your lover's skin. Evenly cake. Instructions say: Boa constrictor snake. Next, take the BBQ-flavored Fritos off the bedside, have one, then crumble three into the wind and watch fire crackle and reflect off glistening skin. Sip a cold Tecate beer, let it dance on your tongue. Place your Dio tape
in the boombox and press play: “Ride the tiger / You can see his stripes but you know he's clean.” The condom is exotic
. A Bengal tiger, slung and poised on some form of wicker lounging pedestal, on a beach. There is Jade. Then the Oriental Exciter
. I’m not sure, but I think this part of the kit is anal beads, which look like pearls. With pride they are electronically tested to meet FDA standards. The Love Kit, never quit.