So you were at Linda's last night and somehow you snuck behind the DJ booth and found a cool camera that didn't belong to you and you lifted it. Ugh. Could we have it back please? Please, please, please bring it back to Linda's—no questions asked. Or if you prefer, bring it to The Stranger's offices during the workday (1535 11th Avenue, third floor) and just leave it on the reception desk, and turn around and walk out. Again, no one will ask you a single question. You will have done an honest thing. You will feel good about it. We will speak highly of you. And none of the pawn shops we've called today will bust you when you bring it to them instead of us.

Or, if won't return the camera, will you at least return the memory card? Here's the deal: For the last week Kelly O's been traveling all over the place, within the city but also out to Whidbey Island and Roslyn, Washington, taking original portraits of the 15 artists nominated for Stranger Genius Awards. (Real photos, unlike those crappy cell phone pics with the cakes.) These portraits are going to appear in print very soon. They are supposed to be at the printer in a matter of days. With the memory card gone, those portraits are gone. Not returning the memory card means you would fuck over not only Kelly O and The Stranger but also a bunch of hard-working and deserving artists who've already rearranged their schedules to have their portraits done; some of them are now out of town and won't return until after our deadline. We're running out of time. Please.

Details:

• It was stolen last night, sometime around midnight.
• It's a Canon 50 D camera body with a red vintage camera strap, a Canon EF 17-40mm lens, a Canon 430EX II Speedlite flash, and a 15 gig SD memory card.

If you know something, you can send me an email or call The Stranger's offices at 206-323-7101. We're not interested in prosecuting anyone. We just want those photos back.