Everyone knows that music journalists make the best DJs, right? Right. Realizing this, you may be interested to learn that a couple of Seattle's foremost music critics are going to be hosting a rap-oriented DJ night at the Capitol Hill bar Speckled & Drake. That famous conduit of information known as the grapevine is revealing to me that Dajve Bikinus and Dave Patchouli—who look and sound a helluva lot like Stranger freelancers Andrew Matson and Larry Mizell Jr., respectively—will be dispensing hiphop knowledge with their MP3s (or CDs and records?) instead of their words Monday June 2 (6 pm-10 pm, free, 21+). The plan is to get this event—dubbed Bad Rap—going on a semi-regular basis, maybe every other Tuesday, through the summer, when your appetite for quality hiphop typically spikes. However, don't even think of making requests. They ain't hearing it.

Bad Rap debuted a few weeks ago and mostly focused on new stuff—Young Thug, Future, UGLYFRANK, and YG. They also played older Seattle artists like Merm and Mall. "Last time we did it a bunch of hot women showed up in workout clothes and danced hard," Bikinus reports.

Sounds cool, guys, but I'd like to hear some MC NASDAQ. Can you bend the rules, just this once?