Tee Hee: Wealthy neighbors of a wealthy art collector in Old Westbury, New York, are not happy. The mayor says that Damien Hirst's belly-cut-open-naked-pregnant-woman bronze sculpture, standing at 33 feet tall, is “out of character with the neighborhood” and should stand outside an ob-gyn office instead of on one of the village’s nice green lawns. To block it, they’re going to try to have an ordinance passed that says sculptures over 25 feet aren’t allowed. The ordinance should rather say, “Old Westbury forbids art from the lame periods of artists.” But then we wouldn’t get to see the circus of a fake art fight. I wonder what their real objection is: Ugly? Fetal? Nude? Maybe a poll is in order!

Velocity's Nationwide Search Ends in Seattle: As Linda Bowers—who served as Executive Director of Seattle Arts & Lectures from 2007-2012—is named the new managing director of Velocity Dance Center.

Wessel & Lieberman Closing: The Pioneer Square antiquarian bookseller is probably going to be gone by the end of this summer.

Are You Executive Director Material? Artist Trust, the Seattle-based nonprofit that gives money to individual artists—in an era when government and private support favors orgs or projects—today kicked off its search for a new executive director. Many of the traits wanted in a candidate have to do with being able to play well with others. (Not a strength, in our experience, of the former executive director, Margit Rankin, who left after only two years.) The new person, in addition to all the official requirements, should be able to be a leader: retain good staff, make good organizational friends, know when to take advice, et cetera. Here’s the link to the application page.

One Thing I'll Say for Him, Jesus is Canceled: Everything is not all right, evidently, with the national Jesus Christ Superstar Arena Spectacular Tour. It will not be spectacularly touring after all—at all. The explanation is pretty tight-lipped, all chilly corporate-speak: "Options Clause Entertainment LLC, an affiliate of S2BN Entertainment, announced today the cancellation of the Jesus Christ Superstar Arena Spectacular Tour."

A Dirty Shame: John Waters explains why he stopped making movies.

Why Can't John Waters Direct This? Oliver Stone is making a movie about Edward Snowden.

Don't Die on Me! Don't you fucking die on me. Come on, baby, don't die on me now. Don't die on me, goddamnit!