Moved up with UPDATE!!! The FDA is backing down—our cheese is no longer under threat, at least for the moment, after public outcry. That's us! You are all goddamned awesome.

Are you ready for a world of Kraft instead of craft? BECAUSE I AM FUCKING NOT.
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  • Are you ready for a world of Kraft instead of craft? BECAUSE I AM FUCKING NOT.

My dad told me once that I should save profanity for when it really matters (in writing, that is—our whole family curses like sailors while speaking), and now is the time: The FDA can't keep our food supply safe, but has time for this TOTAL BULLSHIT...

The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has issued an executive decree banning the centuries old practice of aging cheese on wooden boards. One bureaucrat within the FDA, without surveying all of the scientific literature, and without public commentary, has rattled hundreds of small businesses across the United States. Consumers who eat any kind of aged cheese should prepare for a potentially catastrophic disruption in the market for artisan, non-processed cheese.

The FDA’s decision will not only harm American cheese makers, but may also bring a halt to the importation of artisan cheeses from abroad...

I feel the urge to boldface every word of the quote above... this is UNFUCKINGREAL. Here's more on this SUPREME ASSHATTERY.

The FDA's website is pretty damn opaque about who to contact there about such issues as SAVE OUR CHEESE GODDAMNIT, and their media office is on Eastern time and currently closed. I suggest for now that we all email the President, and refrain from profanity even though we're MAD AS HELL AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE.