Today in World Cup hijinks: Former champions Spain, who were unceremoniously dumped out of the World Cup after two dismal losses, landed back home in Madrid today, where their plane was "hit by a bolt of lightning."

No one was hurt.

But Italy's Giorgio Chiellini was hurt when Uruguayan star Luis Suarez bit him in the middle of today's match (he's done that before).

And have you seen the facial expression that Miguel Herrera, the Mexican team's coach, keeps making during frenzied goal celebrations? Here it is:

I keep hearing people lament the way the US team lost its lead against Portugal at the last second in Sunday's game (they tend to sigh heavily and make a sad face). But to all of those people: you're taking this way too seriously. Soccer is a haven for buffoons who happen to be ridiculously talented (e.g. Suarez, Cristiano Ronaldo). Watch them play the beautiful game and do their thing but don't get overly invested in it. Perhaps I'll sign off my next match live-blog—Thursday at 9 a.m. for USA vs. Germany—with: Hate FIFA, love the game, enjoy the madness.

Now all we need is a good strong headbutt to round things out.