WHO WILL LIFT THE TROPHY? Actually, this ones a replica.

World Cup 2014 is over: GERMANY WIN 1-0. ARGHHH. Messi vomited.

122 mins: Agonizing wait...oh. He skies it into the stands. That's it.

121 mins: Last few minutes here. Those misses by Higuain and Palacio feel absolutely inexcusable now. Messi wins a free kick in the exact position where he scored against Iran a few rounds ago. If he get this into the net...

113 mins: 1-0 Germany. Substitute Mario Goetze chests the ball in acres of space, yards out inside the penalty box, and volleys past Romero. I totally thought we were headed for penalty kicks.

112 mins: Match is getting brutal. Aguero's elbow bloodies Schweinsteiger in the face. Off the resulting free kick, Mueller—who's had a quiet game—bangs heads with an Argentine defender.

96 mins: A long pass loops over the last German defender to Argentine striker Palacio, who my companions have taken to calling "Rattail" for his haircut. He chests down and chips it over Neuer, with the goal gaping wide open...and it goes wide. That was it. That was the second-best chance of the game, and it's gone. Amazing.

91 mins: Both teams storm out of the gate. Germany work the ball to Schurrle, who knocks it from close range against Romero's hands. Argentina clear towards striker Aguero, who looks significantly below his best and can't keep a hold of the ball.

Fulltime Not a single goal between the two sides. We'll be into overtime after a short break.


87 mins: Okay so, things have been super even for a while. Messi can't get a clean run through on goal. Both teams are playing rock-solid defense. Mario Goetze comes on for World Cup record scorer Miroslav Klose. Hah! No more goals for you!

68 mins: Higuain's been subbed out for Palacio, who one could jeer for his haircut as much as for not following through on a run, as Messi dinks it past the defense.

68 mins: Germany are looking dangerous. They make some signature, intricate one-two passes in the box, but Schurrle can't control it and it rolls into Romero's hands. I find this stat surprising, though—feels like a far more even game. Everyone looks winded.


63 mins: Yellow card for Argentina defender Mascherano (his anus has apparently healed) as he slips, then chases after it and brings down Klose from behind. I can see this game going to penalties, unless either side starts slotting home their chances.

58 mins: German goalie Neuer pulls a Tekken body slam move on Higuain as he rushes out to punch the ball. How he doesn't get a yellow card, at minimum, is beyond me.

52 mins: I was in transit during halftime and I missed this agonizing miss by Messi:

Halftime: As we go into the last minute of the half, a header off a German corner kick booms off the post. 0-0. And in the stands:


44 mins: I'm at The Station on Beacon Hill (I wrote about their hidden jewel of a backdoor patio in this week's issue) and the crowd here is eerily split between the two sides. A dude wearing a white Germany jersey just meandered in, and as if one cue, a man in sunglasses in a blue Argentina uniform walked in the door. There are even two couples to my left and right; in both cases, the girls are rooting for the Argentines and the guys are going for the Germans.

35 mins: This is a fantastic game. I just wish Argentina were firing on all cylinders. A troop of Germans confront Messi as he dribbles towards the box, and instead of laying it off to the left to a winger streaming into open space, he tries to square it to Higuain. But the ball bounces off someone's shin and goes out for a corner, which comes to nothing.

29 mins: Yellow card for Bastian Schweinsteiger. Say it again out loud: Bastian Schweinsteiger. Ball pings back into Argentina's half and then back again out right to an Argentina winger, who hits a peach of a cross to Higuain, who first-times it into net!

...but Higuain was offside by some distance when the cross was struck. Fucking hell. Still 0-0.

25 mins: Argh that miss was sooo bad. All Higuain had to do was side-foot it in past Neuer. Germany are not going to hand you many chances on a platter like that.

20 mins: Ohhhh... Higuain. What. Happened. Germany's Tony Kroos heads the ball towards his goalkeeper, but it falls utterly short and neatly into the path of the aging Argentinian striker, who in front of a gaping net, rushes his shot and completely whiffs the ball wide. Camera cuts to an Argentina sub on the bench who pulls his orange bib over his head in agony.

12 mins: Germany's Miroslav Klose, the current record scorer in all World Cups with sixteen goals, nearly gets a head on the end of a chipped pass into the box from Lahm. Phew! Both teams are threatening, though I have to say, Germany look better organized and with a slight edge.

Meanwhile outside the stadium:


8 mins: Argentina are playing aggressive, pressing defense. They intercept Germany's passing and Messi makes a scintillating run down the right hand side, but his touchline cut-back pass can't get through to his teammate.

4 mins: A feisty few opening minutes—Germany win a free kick near the edge of the area, but it careens off the wall and within seconds, Argentina get the ball to the feet of striker Higuain, who drags his shot just wide from a tight angle.

And... kickoff!