It's a question I get every day—it's a question all advice columnists get every day (rivaled only by the inane "Do vegans swallow?")—and now it looks like there's a definitive answer: Yeah, probably.
According to new findings presented at the American Psychological Association annual convention, too many old adages about cheaters hold true: University of Denver graduate researcher Kayla Knopp found that people who cheat on their partners once are approximately three-and-a-half times more likely to cheat again in their next relationships. Knopp polled 484 unmarried participants between the ages of 18 and 34 and found that the “once a cheater, always a cheater” cliché doesn’t just apply to the people doing the cheating. Those who were cheated on in one relationship were also more likely to be cheated on again.
Do lots of people fail at monogamy or does monogamy fail lots of people? Almost all public discussions of monogamy accept the people-fail-at-monogamy premise. But my 20+ years in the advice racket have convinced me that presumptive/default/non-negotiated/non-negotiable monogamy is failing us.