#NotAllAspiringRappers: An American died in Syria this weekend fighting on the side of ISIS. "Douglas McCain, 33, a one-time aspiring rapper and basketball fan from California, was in Syria, the White House said, confirming his death." The British citizen who is believed to have killed photojournalist James Foley was also an aspiring rapper. There are believed to be 12,000 foreign fighters in Syria—and they all have western passports but none have successful rap careers.

About That American ISIS Fighter: "Oh, dear Jesus, now that there's an American found to have been killed fighting for ISIS far away from the "homeland," the Pants-Wetting Alert at CNN has gone into the red zone," writes Esquire's Charles Pierce.

Exaggerated Threats: ISIS is scary. But they're not that scary.

Serial Killer or Jihadi? The man who murdered a gay couple in Seattle earlier this summer claims he was avenging the deaths of Muslims in Iraq and Afghanistan. Their grieving families want you to know that the men he murdered—Dwone Anderson-Young and Ahmed Said—were young, gay, and going places. And one was a Muslim.

Beheadings Are Funny: GOP nominee in Colorado accuses Jared Polis, the openly gay Democratic congressman from Colorado, of wanting to "join ISIS in beheading Christians, but not just in Syria, right here in America." Outrage ensues. The idiot candidate—Gordon Klingenschmitt—now claims he was just kidding, it was only hyperbole, and accuses Democrats of not having a sense of humor about beheading Christians.

Russia Is At War With Ukraine: Ukraine gave up the nuclear arsenal it inherited when the Soviet Union broke up after being promised by Russia and United States that they would not "use force or threaten military action against the newly independent nation." That was 1994. This is now.

The Lead Says It All: "ESPN has apologized for airing a segment by reporter Josina Anderson that focused on how members of the St. Louis Rams are dealing with showering with openly gay teammate Michael Sam."

Clothing Design Fail: Spanish clothing retailer yanks a children's shirt from its stores because... just look at it.

13Now! Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel vows to raise minimum wage to $13 an hour.

Weyerhaeuser Leaving Federal Way for Pioneer Square: The move will bring 800 jobs to Pioneer Square. Why the move? Weyerhaeuser CEO Doyle Simons: "First, our 430-acre campus in Federal Way is costly and too large for our needs. Second, moving our headquarters to Seattle will give us access to a larger talent pool to meet future recruiting needs, not just in this region, but from across the country.” Translation: sprawl— in all its forms—is expensive and wasteful and who wants to work in Federal Way? (HorsesAss.org wrote: "More job killing by the $15 minimum wage and the sick leave/safe leave laws!")

Who Used Up All the Internet? Gawker writer posts 8,000,000,000 essay concerning her complicated feelings about her cat and the Internet promptly crashes in 29 states.

Welcome Back, Valerie Cherish: This is best news of the year...