A lot of people thought my advice yesterday for "Embargoed Goods" sucked ass—including my own father—so I'm taking a one-day penalty. In place of today's SLLOTD are a couple of letters that don't require a response from me and one that does. But I'm not going to give advice to the third LW. You guys are. Enjoy and see you tomorrow.

Congratulations, Dan. I thought there was no longer any possible string of real English words that wouldn't turn up at least some results on Google:

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Reverse Cowgirl Bleached Anal Handstand! Well done, Dan!

A Long Time Fan

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You must get hundreds of emails a day, but I liked your advice in your column of the 12th of November so much that I'm sending you another one. Thanks for your column! At first I read your column for titillation, which I still enjoy of course, but what really makes me a fan is your wonderful sensitivity to the problems of people of every stripe, and your freedom from the usual biases. (You have a few of your own of course, but they're easy to subtract out.) I look forward to your column every week.

I can't say that I blame you for bashing the Republican Party, given the many bigoted assholes they've endorsed. But there is a large and growing demographic of people, including me, who are fiscal conservatives and social liberals; we're not represented well by either party. Many of that demographic, including me, are nominal Republicans who think that George W's term was a disaster, and are totally dismayed by the Republicans in Congress. So please know that not all Republicans are total assholes. I'm doing what I can to change the Republican Party from the inside out. Too bad third parties aren't viable in American politics.

Rob L.

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Like a lot of men, I was circumcised at birth. However, this has come to be very problematic as my nerve endings are completely shot and I have lost sensation in the head of my penis entirely. This makes it impossible for me to enjoy intercourse or oral sex. So I started to think of ways that I could contribute to me and my partner's sex life that would give me the ability to be more versatile and have more fun.

A few years ago I stumbled across a porn video with a man that had enlarged his genitals to epic proportions. At first I was extremely put off by the notion but over time the idea became more of an interest. Soon I wanted it to be my reality. I wanted to be that man I saw in the video. I was extremely embarrassed, though, and his my new interest from my partner. But eventually I couldn't help myself and I told him what I wanted. I told him that I had thought of a series of steps that I could take to get that far and told him that I understand the pros and cons. For me the pros outweigh the cons. And I told him that the complications I would face doing normal tasks actually excite me. The health risks are manageable, I said, and I look forward to changing my routine to adjust as I would get bigger and bigger.

The conversation didn't go how I expected. Instead of having a conversation about what this could bring to the table, I was immediately shut down. My partner isn't willing to talk about it. I don't want to compromise. This is what I want and he should support me. He told me it wasn't that he would be embarrassed or that it wasn't going to be enjoyable. But he wouldn't say much beyond that. I don't want to upset him but this is important to me. This is what I want. It took me two years to think of a plan of action and I am ready to do this.

But if I can't have my partner's support, Dan, then I can't go through with it. Ever since our conversation I've become extremely depressed. I don't know what I should do. How I should approach this? Please help.

Wanting A Larger Dick

Okay, gang, got some non-ass-sucking advice for WALD?